Hey guys! Let me know what you think. This is what I’m working on for my Camp NanoWriMo.
We were staring at each other. She was waiting for me to talk, but I didn’t have much to say. This decision wasn’t mine. I didn’t want to go through with this. My father told me it was what was best for me. I wanted to do what was best, but he thought he knew better.
“ How are you feeling today?”
I didn’t say anything. All I could do was look at my nails. I just painted them red to pass the time last night. I couldn’t sleep. I’d been having nightmares all over again.
“ Deborah, we need to talk about everything. Therapy will help you, I promise.”
Since I have been coming here the last week, I have been silent. But, I have to talk. I want to sleep at night. I’m not a horrible person and my father made me do it. I don’t know why I listened to him.
“ What do you want to know?” I said just above a whisper.
“ I asked, how are you doing today?”
“ I’m the same as I had been since it happened. I’m lost. “
She didn’t say anything. She just wrote in her notebook.
“ Do you think you will have children again?”
“ I don’t know. If I listen to my father, no.”
“ What does your father say?”
“ He said I’m the devil and I can’t grow the devil inside of me.”
I rolled my eyes. I would rather be at home in my bed then to sit here and endure this conversation any further.
“ How do you feel about that?”
“ My father is crazy. Ever since he came home from the war, he has not been right. I don’t listen to him. I will be a mother again one day.”
The lady smiled at me.
“ That’s great to hear, Deborah.”
“ Yea. Can I be dismissed now? I am late for class.”
“ Yes. Our session is up anyway. Let’s schedule something for next week.”
“ Let’s not. This is my last day. I’m going to college to set up my dorm room.”
“ Oh?” She said.
“ Thanks for the session. They have really helped me.”
“ Please, call me if you ever want to talk. By the way, are you going to school for?”
“ I can’t decide on teaching or social work.” I said to her.
She sat back in her chair and took a breath.
I watched as she took her left hand and put hair behind her ear. She was wearing a lab coat and had ginger hair with freckles.
“ Both are very demanding fields, but with what has happened, I understand that you want to work with children in some capacity.”
“ Yes. Well, I love children. I baby sit all of the cousins all the time.”
I stood up and grabbed my purse.
“ Thanks, Doctor.” I said.
“ I told you, call me Carrie.”
“ Alright then, Carrie. It has been a pleasure, but with all do respect you will not see me back in here ever.”
“ No offense taken. I would love to not see you again. Deborah, you aren’t crazy. You’ve been through an ordeal that you just needed to figure out that’s all.”
“ Oh I know. Thank again. Take care.”
I went to walk out and quickly scanned the room before turning the copper door knob and sighed.
“ You can do it.” Carrie encouraged me.
I held my dignity in tact and left the room.
Walking fast through the building I hurried to my car where I sobbed for fifteen minutes before pulling off and heading to Delaware State University.