Can Rejections Ruin Your Confidence As A Writer?

This Is Deep…

As a writer, it is hard for others to see your work the way that you do. I mean, how many no’s can we take? J. K. Rowling took a one too many no’s before she got her yes. I tweeted Angie Thomas, ( author of The Hate You Give) and she gave me some sound advice. She said, ” All you need is that one yes.” But, it seems with the more rejections we get as a writer, the less excited we feel that our yes will come. With writing, can the rejections ruin our confidence?

Okay…

Growing up as children we all hated the word NO. So, it is only right that as an adult we still do not like the word, especially when it comes to something we think is so perfect like our writing. I will be honest, in my lifetime, I have given up on my writing abilities three times due to rejection. There was one time I was querying agents for a book and I did not understand why I was getting rejected. Once, I did my research the correct way and not listened to what other writers were telling me, I realized why. My stories were not aligned with the correct word count.

Once I realized my wrong doing, I self-published all of my books. For a while, the ,money was great, but after a while, the money stops. Then I felt like I had exhausted all possibilities to make money from this way. The more writing I was doing, the more I felt that I had to re-invent myself in some way. Now, I have a completed book that I want to be published the traditional route. The process of getting an agent is tough, but it will be worth it once I get my yes. This experience is damping my spirits just a bit, but I am not going to give up. I said to myself, ” My stories are not good and I am throwing in the towel.” Then, I had someone inbox me via social media and asked me when was my next book coming out. The message that the young lady sent me was HOPE. In that moment, I realized that I could not writing or telling stories. They were in me and it is my duty to share it with the world. Never give up, keep the confidence and the faith. You are a writer.

Fear Can Kick Rocks!

Hey Readers! Before I go into detail about my post, I first want to thank EVERYONE for their kind words about my post regarding Goal Setting. So, I just finished reading a school assignment that I was way behind on and it has my brain fried. But, since I have writing a daily blog on my newly t0-do list on my phone, I figure I would kill two birds with one stone and write something fun and get the task done.  I was thinking about the term fear and what it meant to me. I decided that my own definition is:

Fear-Being afraid to allow those of importance see your gifts and awesomeness!

I posted a picture of the late Robin Williams because he explains in an interview about how he was afraid to be funny. He had stated that no one understand why he wanted to be an actor and a comedian. Well, I am glad that he was able to put that fear aside because what we have here is a LEGEND, and a funny one. Robin was able to find his niche and actually go for it. Was he fearful? It is possible that he was, but I have learned that fear and nervousness are two different things.

Being afraid to try new things or learn something new can hold you back a ton! I will use myself as an example. I can say that I despise statistics with a passion. I always have felt that I would do it wrong and fail a class. Now, years later, I still have to take some or statistics course and instead of  being afraid, I change my mindset. This is how I chose to tackle that fear.

1. I said that I was going to do my best and pass the class. You’d be surprised how positive pep talks are to yourself. It not only relieves the anxiety, but it makes you believe in yourself. ( At least it does for me)
2. Before the class started, I was honest with my instructor about my lack of statistics and math skills. This actually helped me a lot because she was able to give me some videos to watch and practices to do before class.
3. Make friends with those in class. 9 times out of 10, if you are unsure of the material, someone else is as well. Two heads are better than one.
4. Actually try. Okay, I know this may sound redundant, but you would be surprised at how many students(myself included) would do the minimum to skate by the class or glide along with little knowledge of the material. Now, with this, you can think of it two way, you can’t get by with paying minimum of a bill and think you will skate by, so you mind as well learn all you can to actually pass. Or in my example, pay the entire bill.
5. By putting fear aside and trying, I actually ended up liking the class and what I was learning. I got a C in that statistics class, but I was 2 points from a B and I tried my hardest instead of being fearful.

I know I used this in previous blog, but it goes along with fear. In order to tell fear kick rocks, you have to change your mindset. My friend once said, ” Flowing water never goes stagnant.” Do not be comfortable with fear because time will pass and you will still be in the same place, comfortable and complacent. Tell fear to kick rocks and you keep it moving. Be the best you that you can be and focus on what matters.

Here is a good book, that will help you tell fear to kick rocks. I highly recommend this book and I have a review of it as well. It is a MUST read if you want to ” get your life” as they say!

What It Boils Down To Is Confidence

Happy Sunday, Readers!

Last night as I was working on my flip flopping  I couldn’t help but think, my confidence is slipping. Not the fact that I’m not a good writer, but the confidence to be successful at the project and get it done. As if it’s not bad enough that we as writers already have to imagine some crazy concepts and put together for the public to read and judge. No pressure, right? Puh lease! Bullshit! I mean being a writer is hard, but the more I think about quitting, the more I can’t. Even if I write three pages a day, I’m still writing.

Another Thing…

I have in my mind that just because I have an MFA, I should be able to write massive amounts on anything! No way!! If anything I have slowed down and am all over the place. But, aren’t we all a work in progress? Yes, we are. I’ve decided that as long as I write something everyday, I’m fine. People don’t be like me and put these crazy constraints on your writing. It will drive you crazy, have you depressed, and be ready to throw your laptop down the stairs. ( Then again once you do that you will quickly run and pick it up in hopes that it still works). LOL…it’s funny, when my laptop was in the shop, I wanted to write everyday and get all of my stories done. Now that I have it back, it’s like, ” Meh, I’ll get to it.” So, here is my plan…

You ready…

I know some people have told me this MANY times, but it has finally registered and clicked to me. Writing is like a job! I know you must be thinking a job? Yes, a job. Make a schedule to write everyday preferably the same times, but if not just make a point to do it. So, in my mind, full time is 40 hours or more and part time is between 10-20 hours a day. I will write for four hours everyday two in the morning and two in the afternoon every day so that’s what 4×7=28. So 28 hours a week I will be writing. This way I have time to do other things like finish a book that I’ve started. We won’t even go there as to how many books I have started and haven’t finished. Again, I’m a work in progress folks! Pray for me :).  During the beginning two hours I will work on my novel and the other two will be my screenplay. Yep. that’s the way I will do it!  I will stay motivated the best I can. But, I notice that I need structure in my life, not just my writing career. Structure is key so why not start here.

Let’s talk…

In the comments below tell me about your confidence. Is it high or do you struggle?