Can Rejections Ruin Your Confidence As A Writer?


This Is Deep…

As a writer, it is hard for others to see your work the way that you do. I mean, how many no’s can we take? J. K. Rowling took a one too many no’s before she got her yes. I tweeted Angie Thomas, ( author of The Hate You Give) and she gave me some sound advice. She said, ” All you need is that one yes.” But, it seems with the more rejections we get as a writer, the less excited we feel that our yes will come. With writing, can the rejections ruin our confidence?


Screen Shot 2015-03-09 at 10.34.45 AM

Growing up as children we all hated the word NO. So, it is only right that as an adult we still do not like the word, especially when it comes to something we think is so perfect like our writing. I will be honest, in my lifetime, I have given up on my writing abilities three times due to rejection. There was one time I was querying agents for a book and I did not understand why I was getting rejected. Once, I did my research the correct way and not listened to what other writers were telling me, I realized why. My stories were not aligned with the correct word count.

Once I realized my wrong doing, I self-published all of my books. For a while, the ,money was great, but after a while, the money stops. Then I felt like I had exhausted all possibilities to make money from this way. The more writing I was doing, the more I felt that I had to re-invent myself in some way. Now, I have a completed book that I want to be published the traditional route. The process of getting an agent is tough, but it will be worth it once I get my yes. This experience is damping my spirits just a bit, but I am not going to give up. I said to myself, ” My stories are not good and I am throwing in the towel.” Then, I had someone inbox me via social media and asked me when was my next book coming out. The message that the young lady sent me was HOPE. In that moment, I realized that I could not writing or telling stories. They were in me and it is my duty to share it with the world. Never give up, keep the confidence and the faith. You are a writer.


Book Review: The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

Bluest Eye .jpg

Wow! I do not know what to say about this book. First, I will say that this is the first book that I read by this author. She is very hyped. I tried to read Song of Solomon first, but everyone persuaded me to this book. This book pissed me off. I felt so bad for the characters of Claudia, Penola and even their mother. I won’t disclose too much about what the book is focused on, but I will say it was so sad for me. This book contains race, molestation and rape, so WARNING!

My Thoughts:

I thought this book was a great topic read, but I did not care for the story as much. Maybe because I used to have color complex issues as a child and I could relate to Pecola. I think the mother was as dysfunctional as her husband and se allowed so many things that me personally I would not have. This book was just okay for me. I gave it a 3 star review.

Dream Deferred

Actual image of Kristen's Guardian Angel

At times in life, our life shifts into different directions that are out of our control. Today I experienced a shift that totally not only knocked me off my feet, but again the wall so hard that I can’t move. Trying to find a job in the writing and research field is hard enough ( hell, a job period), but finding out that you can no longer get the education to continue to try to be on the way of success is a hard blow. I found out that I can’t finish pursuing my PhD. On this blog, I like to keep it real with my readers and give it to you straight no chaser. I know that set backs and things happen. I also know that it’s not the end of the world and I will be able to finish, but right now, in this moment, I feel like someone has taken my air supply for me to breathe. Due to financial reasons, I am unable to finish school at the moment. I know that many have been where I am, and even more have experienced this same situation, but this is my current reality. The reality that I feel like I’ve failed. Parents raise their children to follow the directions, law and get a good education. I have done all of that and yet it seems like it was for nothing. Being a PhD student has taught me a lot about myself and to endure patience in the inevitable. Even though I only have 3 classes until I start writing my dissertation, I guess patience is something I still have to endure before I am able to go back to school. Ah, the irony!

Screen Shot 2015-01-20 at 11.16.09 AM

Not working in a field or job that is tolerable is the worst kind of agony that I don’t wish on anymore. At first it’s like, ” Okay, I’m going to be fine. I have a savings that will hold me for a while.” Then it turns to, ” Holy shit! I’m out of money, what am I going to do?” The unthinkable of not wanting to feel even more like a failure or lame you turn to those parents who taught you how to make it on your own and tell them not only have you failed, but school is deferred. It’s something like a hard blow to the head on the way down to the floor. Now, I’ve never been hit in the head, but I can imagine the pain that comes with it. I know some of you may be thinking, ” It’s not the end of the world, you will go back when you get the funds.” I hope that does happen. Its just an initial shock. I’m still struggling to find work and I’m no longer in school. I have to take a leave of absence for a while just until things change.


This is currently how I’m feeling. Determine what the next step is for my life, if there is a next step to take. Im doing all I can by applying for jobs everywhere on a daily basis. My dream of successful writer is still in the works because I am writing or at least I will be. I opened up a manuscript that I had started and read it. It’s a love story and yet I just keep staring at the chapter 3 mark. We will not even go there in the relationship department. Granted, I want to be happy and have a successful relationship that will lead to marriage, but right now I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I just keep asking myself, ” Why do good people get the shittiest hands in life?” I understand the concept of life happening and things are never perfect, but it’s like every time you turn around it’s always something. Well, I think I’m done turning. What can happen if I stand still? Oh yea, nothing, lol. At least if I’m turning, I’m moving, right? Prayer has been my best friend and my journal has been my right hand. In due time I will have a good job and school will resume. The dream is not put off, it’s just a dream deferred.

Being Discouraged


Hey readers! Happy Thursday! I know you are so excited for tomorrow and believe me, I am too. This week thus far really dragged for me. I was on the internet too much and got hardly any writing done. But, today I am back on it. I am gotten an accountability partner with my writing. I find that I work better on a schedule with someone knowing it. My accountability partners are Beth and Jennifer. I feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders now that I have them.


clear-your-mind-and-soul-of-negativity-step-04In my personal life I am still struggling to find a job. Well, today I applied for tons of writing jobs. I re-vamped my writing resume and now I’m hoping for the best. My goal is to work in research/writing field. Even if I’m a full-time writer of my own books that will be SO much fun and I can do research when I want. My dream is to be traditionally published. So, after I finish this next book, I will work on another project that I will get traditionally published.  But, life happens and it’s hard to stay positive. Maybe I am supposed to write for myself or work for myself. But, it’s hard to get that going when it is hard to get clients. I will keep trying. When you are discouraged just take a deep breath and keep trying to fulfill your dreams.


As a writer, do you sometimes get in your own way?

Happy Monday, readers! 


Writers love to write and do their thing with words, but I was thinking that sometimes we may get distracted by being in our own way. Okay, here me out. We can be so busy distracted with other things in our lives, that we loose motivation to write. I know it has happened and still does happen to me all of the time. I get distracted easily with Social Media or fiddle around with other things online when I should be writing. Not reading about writing, talking about writing, writing about writing (like now), but just writing. I was fiddling on twitter today when I came across Jane Espenson. She wrote Dinosaurs and write Once Upon A Time as well many other great shows that are on TV like The Husbands. I took the liberty to ask her about her writing process. She stated, ” I don’t really have a process but I do daily sprints for an hour.” I asked her if she did them on twitter and she had said that she was about to do one in 5 minutes. I asked her if I could join and she said yes! I did the sprint and wrote over 2k words on my novel. I don’t know if I was excited because I was writing with her or because I was determined to write today.

Get out of your own way…

Get out of your own way

Do not let life, fear, fearing of success stop you from doing what you want to do. Speak positive things in your life and it will happen. If you want to be a writer, then write! No one is telling you that you can not be successful with writing. It will take a lot of hard work, but at the end of the day it will be worth it. I am determined to finish this novel that has taken me so long to write (over a year) because I was in my own way. When I say my own way, I mean that I let life stop me from writing. Trying to find a job, wondering why my friends are as close to me anymore. Excuse my language, but fuck that! I am not worrying about anything or anyone it will get me in the way of my true goal which is to be a successful writer and work in the Human Services field. I LOVE to help people. I think it’s my passion and I am on this earth to do just that. Even if I am helping someone with their writing, I am doing my job. My grandmother alway said, ” If you want something different, you have to do something different.”

Keep Writing…

Keep Writing

I know it is hard being a writer sometimes. We are not making the money we feel we deserve to make and our jobs are most likely things that have nothing to do with what we are passionate about. But, I watched a video tonight on youtube and Will Smith said, ” I decided that acting was what I was going to do and be good at it. No matter how many people told me not to do it, I still did, because it is what I wanted to do.” He talked about his favorite book, ” The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and he talked about how the man had a dream and we went through hell and high water on his journey dealing with obstacles, set-backs, and people telling him that his dream was not valid. He kept trying and he fulfilled his dream and more. No matter what anyone says if you want to be a writer, keep writing! Don’t let fear, non-writers, family or friends stop you from achieving your dream. I want to be a columnist, published in the NY Times, write books, screenplays and more. Just a successful writer all around and TRUST ME, it will happen! Hard work eventually pays off. Stay away from negative people and do not be a negative person, either. They say, ” you are what you attract.” Keep writing and speaking everything positive into existence. I know I am!

My book is completed, now what?

Happy Saturday!


You have now finished your manuscript. The hard work that you have done is now complete. The sleepless nights, hearing your characters in your mind, sitting in front of the desk typing or writing away has now come to an end. First off, breathe, take a bow and soak it in that you have finished a novel. There isn’t many people that have accomplished what you have done. I know it can be a long process. Trust me, I get it.

What’s next?


Well, now you still have a long road ahead. First on deciding which route you want to take when it comes to publishing. I wrote a blog about traditional and self-publishing and I talked about my experience with it. In another blog I discussed trying to go into traditional publishing as well. Once you have decided which route to take, you have to do different things for each one.  Some people may want an agent and have them shop your new manuscript around.


Agents- Agents may not like your work. It doesn’t make that you aren’t a good writer, but agents will choose you if they think your story will sell and make them money. It’s very hard today to get an agent. I’m still on the hunt for one.

Tip #2

Query Letters- Sending query letters can be a pain in the behind. Back in the day, companies wanted snail mail, but now they prefer email. Beware: Some companies only prefer to deal with the agent first before they talk to the author.

Tip #3

Results- No matter which way you go about publishing your work make sure that you have a plan. A marketing and  business plan. If you are with a traditional publishing company, this will be provided for you. But, if you are self-publishing, you have to do this on your own. Sure, it will be a lot of work, but it may be worthwhile in the end.

I remember watching an episode of True Life on MTV and an author was self-publishing his book. He had his ex-girlfriend edit his book and do the cover too. The proof of the book came in and he was so critical about it. He ordered so many book and went to his first signing. He sold 100 books out of 135 that he ordered. Not bad, right?. I thought it was good being as though it was his first book and his first signing. He was still upset that he didn’t sell out. But, I mean, bro, it’s your first book, many authors don’t sell half of what he did for the first time. At my first book signing, I sold 5 books. The author was writing his second book and looking for a traditional publishing company.

This business is very hard to deal with at times. You feel you are in competition when you don’t even try to be. Especially, for Indie authors. Now that people can publish their own book, getting into the publishing world is no longer completed. I have had my share of self-publishing. I’ve had success from it and I’ve failed at it, too.

Spreading the word…

Now that you have decided which route to take, you now have to spread the word in order to get sales coming in. Now, some people will be happy for you and buy your book, some will say they are buying it and they don’t, some will ignore you. With everyone easily able to be an author, ther is no hype about it anymore. This is just MY opinion. Being a writer is no easy feat, but with e-books, getting out there is easy. In order to spread the word successfully, you must do something to spread out from the rest. Me, personally, I don’t add authors to my pages. I add readers. I want readers following me, not authors who will just like a status, re-tweet a tweet, or just be there. Granted, there are some authors that I do support by purchasing their work and sharing SOME of their works, but I don’t make it a habit. It’s nothing personal, but I need sales, not like’s and re-tweets. Plus, authors are all trying to make it in this industry, so why have authors on your page when you are all doing the same thing, trying to make sales. I do have a promotion day on my pages where other authors can promote their work on my page for a day. But, that’s it!

Congrats on your accomplishment

Peppa Pig

Take the time to celebrate. Go to dinner, movies, or hang out with friends of your accomplishment! Your true fans and supporters will be in your corner when you write 1 book or 20 books. If they believe in you, they will always stick around and be willing to help you. LOVE those people dearly! I hope whatever method you decide, you are most successful in! Congrats on finishing your novel!