Can Rejections Ruin Your Confidence As A Writer?


Thursday

This Is Deep…

As a writer, it is hard for others to see your work the way that you do. I mean, how many no’s can we take? J. K. Rowling took a one too many no’s before she got her yes. I tweeted Angie Thomas, ( author of The Hate You Give) and she gave me some sound advice. She said, ” All you need is that one yes.” But, it seems with the more rejections we get as a writer, the less excited we feel that our yes will come. With writing, can the rejections ruin our confidence?

Okay…

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Growing up as children we all hated the word NO. So, it is only right that as an adult we still do not like the word, especially when it comes to something we think is so perfect like our writing. I will be honest, in my lifetime, I have given up on my writing abilities three times due to rejection. There was one time I was querying agents for a book and I did not understand why I was getting rejected. Once, I did my research the correct way and not listened to what other writers were telling me, I realized why. My stories were not aligned with the correct word count.

Once I realized my wrong doing, I self-published all of my books. For a while, the ,money was great, but after a while, the money stops. Then I felt like I had exhausted all possibilities to make money from this way. The more writing I was doing, the more I felt that I had to re-invent myself in some way. Now, I have a completed book that I want to be published the traditional route. The process of getting an agent is tough, but it will be worth it once I get my yes. This experience is damping my spirits just a bit, but I am not going to give up. I said to myself, ” My stories are not good and I am throwing in the towel.” Then, I had someone inbox me via social media and asked me when was my next book coming out. The message that the young lady sent me was HOPE. In that moment, I realized that I could not writing or telling stories. They were in me and it is my duty to share it with the world. Never give up, keep the confidence and the faith. You are a writer.

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The Waiting Game With Queries


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Happy Wednesday! I hope all is well on you end. As for me, I am learning patience in more ways than one. Let’s see, I will say that my mind is on an overload from querying so many agents. Granted, agents look so many queries everyday, but for some reason I have in my mind that they are supposed to respond to me as soon as I send the e-mail. LOL! This is silly I know. I am learning patience, but it is getting hard.

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I have read and watching many videos on how to pass the time when waiting to hear back from agents. Thus far, I have queried about 60 agents and have gotten 8 rejections. The ball can still be in my court, so I have not given up hope yet. It is still alive. Since I have started this process of traditional publishing, my mind has not been on writing anything but my blogs here and my article for Conscious Talk Magazine ( btw, go subscribe at conscioustalkmag.com). I am still job hunting like crazy so I am trying to stay occupied. How can you when you read books that are NYT’s Best Sellers and know that pieces or a few pages of your works is out there for agents to read and determine if I have a best seller too? So, this is what I have come up with:

  1. Meditation – Relieve some of the anxiety that I am feeling.
  2. Pray – Prayer changes EVERYTHING!
  3. Read – This is a given. You can not be a writer if you are not a reader first. ~ Stephen King
  4. Talk To Writer Friends – I do not have many writer friends that I talk to often so I will have to get some new ones on twitter.
  5. Breathe – This is a given.

Get out of your own way

 

Lately, to pass the time I have been thinking a lot about my life thus now and where I want to be in the next five years both personally and professionally. My goal is to be a New York Time’s Best Seller and continue to write books while I change the world with my words. I will still work a day time job as well ( preferably with writing) or helping in some capacity whether it is through research, etc.

 

Learning To Play The Hand You Were Dealt


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Good evening, readers! As I sitting in my bed thinking, I thought I would write a blog for today. Things have not been going well as I thought it would. The job fell through that I was working for. Turns out, I was hired when I did not have the correct credentials to teach. This is a bummer. Luckily, I still have the writing gig, but it is not full-time. So, back to the drawing board I go. When life gives you a hand, you have to play in order to win the game. No matter what, I will always stay in the game.

I am not blogging to complain, but to inspire. I have cried long enough today. My tears are now dry and it is time to keep playing the game and win. This is all a part of God’s plan to show me my next move. But, whatever it is, trust me, my next move will be my best move. Learning to move in silence. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

Want A Paid Writing Gig?


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My fellow writers! I have a GEM for you! I know how we writers want to make a living writing or at least be appreciated for what we have to bring to the table, right? I came across this online paid magazine by networking right here on wordpress. I started to read other’s blogs and BOOM there it was! Yes, I am talking about this banner right here:

This is totally legit! I even signed a contract and met other writers for the magazine as well. This is a new magazine and I must say that I very excited to accept the position of a columnist! My areas of expertise will be for Bookish News and Reviews, Writer’s Life and Fashion & Beauty sections. I could not be more proud to be a part of a great magazine. If you have more questions please do hesitate to email the editor at EDITOR@CONSCIOUSTALKMAG.COM.

My Thoughts:

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If you look back on my  What’s On Your Writer’s Bucket List?  back in 2013, I stated that I wanted to write for a company. I did not specify what type of company because it could be anything. I have been a contributing writer for a few magazines, but never having my own column(s). This opportunity is so exciting for me. You have no idea. I want all of my writer friends to join in on this venture with me if you are interested and have the time.

Writing Woes


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Hey readers! It’s Wednesday and that usually is the least favorite day of the week for most. If you are like me, I rather enjoy this day. It is in the middle. If you have writing goals like I do, then it should be a good day. Today, I am focusing on reading, but getting my writing schedule together for tomorrow. I have a story that I need to finish. I had stopped it to complete my latest project, but now I am thinking about the story more and more. What do you do when you can not get a story out of your head? You write!!

Writing Woes

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As a writer we have so much on your minds with life that the woes can bring our writing down. At times we can be so lost in ourselves that our craft suffers. I know I have had my share of woes this year. With trying to find a job and still thinking about my writing, the writing woes has really done a number on me. But, if you focus on the positive, the negative will eliminate itself. Or so it should. Channel the positive energy with your life and your writing. It took me a few years to eliminate negative things and people from my life. At one point, I thought they had to stay because we used to be close or it was being ” nice. Well, not anymore. I am happy with where my life is headed for the most part. The only thing left to do is get an agent so that I can write books for a living full time. It’s almost every writers dream, right?

Life can be much and it also happens. We can not control the things that are going to happen. Meaning, in our lives what we can control is how we react to things and people. The last thing I want is my writing to suffer because of things that are out of my control. Writing woe is not me and it most certainly will be you. Make a schedule and write just a little bit a day. At the end of the day, when you feel that you have no one and life is not perfect, your words are always there to carry you through.

Procrastination


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Happy Monday! I know please do not sound so grim. It will not be that bad today. We are all going to have a good day, right? Right! I wanted to touch on procrastination. We all do it and as we do it, we wish that it was not a thing. For any writer it is hard to keep on track sometimes. We may have something going on in our lives where writing seems impossible. I have been there and I know that life happens.

How do we not procrastinate? Well, I have a couple of things that have helped me. Sometimes we have to do things that are out of our norm or things we would usually do. There will be trial and error, but figuring out what works for you.

  • Keeping A Schedule  – This can work many ways. You can keep a calendar and put different things that you write on different days. For example, on Monday, write a blog, Tuesday, write three chapters of a novel, on Wednesday work on journaling. Having a calendar can be beneficial. But, if you are like me, this does not work. It will work for a few days and then that is it.
  • Writing Daily  –  It’s a little similar to keep a schedule, but not really. Writing daily can be for the same project. If you are writing a novel or a screenplay, you may write every day until the project is finished. This can be more of a habit because on the days you do not write, you will feel weird when you have not written anything.
  • Writing Partner  – I have had many writing partners or buddies through out of writing career. They are there to hold you accountable with your writing. Your partner may suggest sprints or even put you on a writing schedule to make sure that you are keeping busy. I have an accountability partner, her name is Jennifer. She is a great friend. We met in a writing group on Facebook and have been rocking out together since. I have read her work and vice versa.
  • Writing Prompts  – I know we have those days when we are not really into our projects. It is okay. We are human and have those days at times. What works best for me is to still write by utilizing a writing prompt. Sometimes I will blog it or write in my writing journal.

These are just a few things that you can do to not procrastinate. Will you follow these examples and never procrastinate again? Of course not. I will not even follow these all the time, but it is nice to do when you are feeling like you are in a writing slump. Let’s talk in the comments, what do you do to not procrastinate?

Rejection


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Hey readers. Sorry, it has been a over a week since I have talked to you. But, I am here now. Over the next few blogs you will see why I have been MIA with you guys. I chose this quote this morning by Paulo Coelho, because I felt I needed to write and stop the crying.

As you know, I have been applying for many jobs over the last ten months and I have not been lucky. I apply for the jobs, go on a few interviews and nothing because I have too much education. Yesterday, I have a job interview for a customer service position. I dressed very professionally and I was there a whole hour early. I was ready. I knew the company, my goal for the company, etc. But, unfortunately, I did not get the position. I got the rejection this morning and I am really feeling some type of way. You would think I would be used to it by now, right? It still hurts because in my mind you are not giving me a chance to show you what I can do or allow me to prove myself.

Just with writing, it is very hard to accept when someone does not want you. Especially, when you have a lot to offer. This can go for work, writing, dating and life in general. I am trying to keep my head up and know that better is coming, but right now it still stings a bit. Please keep me in your prayers.

Why Is Developing Your Story Hard?


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Writers, if this picture above is you when developing a story, I totally get it! It does not matter if you have an outline, are going by Act’s or just writing from an idea, the development can always be a tricky. But, there are somethings to consider when getting into the ” meat” of your story.

  1. Stretching It Out  –  Often times we are writers are so good with showing our story instead of telling. When you show or just explain what it going on, that makes it hard for the reader to really visualize what you are saying. For example, ” Mike went to the store and got us a milkshake. I told him to get me a strawberry milkshake and he got a chocolate one while I waited for him.” This is an example of telling. Now, let’s tell that same story.

Mike and I sat at the booth before he headed up  to the counter. There were other families and couples enjoying their food, milkshakes and ice-creams.

” Sam, what kind of milkshake do you want?”  Mike asked.

Still looking back and forth and the menu, I finally decided.

” Mm, I think that I am going to have the strawberry milkshake.”

Mike smiles.

” That sounds good, Sam, but I am going to get a chocolate one.”

Mike looks at the long line as he turns around and stares at the crowd.

” I am going to wait until the line dies down, okay?”

” Whatever works.”

Waiting for the line to go down, Mike and I still talked about our classes as we sipped on ice water that was brought to us.

Okay, now do you see the different between showing and telling? This has been stretched out and embellished. We are able to see exactly what is going on ( well at least we can picture it.”  This also gives you a longer word count as well!

2. Character Development  – This is a problem area for some writers. When it comes to developing your characters, you really have to make them a real person. Check out my blog on character profiles. In my opinion when writing any book, I feel that all main characters need to have a background story. Where did they come from? What was their childhood like? How were their parents? Sometimes you can even take it a step further and tap into their parents background. This can give the reader some justification as to how or why main character is the way that he/she is. This can be come by doing a ” flashback”  or having another person’s point of view come present and they are telling their side.

3.  Lastly, another reason that your story can be hard when it comes to development is because it is all over the place. You have so many characters and everyone is doing their own thing. Whether you have an outline to look at or not, you can just be writing to write. This is called freelancing. Just jotting things down and not have a place for them to call home. When this happens, take a step back and get some clarity. Ask yourself, ” What story am I really trying to tell?” Your story can be so good that it starts to tell itself and shift in directions that it is not on an outline. This is why I do not use an outline. I let the story speak for itself. But, I know that there are some writers who MUST  have a guide or something to look off of. Even if your mind is going a mile a minute, just remember that every story has a beginning, middle and an end.

Thanks so much for taking the time out to read this blog for today. I hope that it helps you with your development of your story. Now, GO WRITE! That is an order.

My Writing Style (MSH Blog Tour)

 

Can You Be Your Own Support System?


Happy Thursday!

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We go through many things in our life where we need and desire support from others. But, when we are able to gain that support from our friends and loved ones, are we able to seek it in ourselves? Yes! It is called determination and motivation. Now, with my writing career, I am sure that there are MANY people who disapprove of my career path. In turn that is okay, but when you have people like that, it is time to rid of toxic waste.  In my opinion being a writer is a lonely world until your readers support your work. In my time as a writer, I have seen some great reviews and even some bad ones. I took a step back and re-assessed the bad reviews. I take into consideration what the readers have to say. My work may look great in my eyes, but the readers are the real judges.

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With that being said, I motivate myself often to make the next book or writing endeavor better than the last one. I wanted to make sure that my words were relatable and valid for anyone who even cracked a page or clicked to see my work. My motivation and determination for myself has to be strong because everyone does not see my dream the way that I do. Sure, you will get discouraged when rejection happens, but use that rejection for fuel to continue to work on your craft and be the best writer that you can be. One of my goals this year was to keep my blog updated and relevant. There were times where I did not wrote for months and I saw the change in that versus now to me writing on a daily basis. I appreciate your support with my blog.  You liking my blog posts makes me feel good about the posts that I will continue to have.  A year ago, I did a vision board with my previous position and I look at it every day now just to motivate and remind myself that I am destined for greatness. Now, I feel like I have to keep my work to myself in a way and not tell everyone my dreams because I will not get the support that I give myself.

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I do have a journal with goals in it. I never look at it. In my mind, I know what I achieve to do. Every time I achieve a new thing, I go back to my goals journal and see how close or far I came to achieving them. Thus far, I am on track because I am motivating myself. Currently, I am motivated and determined to finish this novel for NanoWriMo way before the end of the July. I really believe that this book is going to put me on the map. Never allow anyone to tell you that you can not or deter you from your dreams.

Do You Know Your Worth?


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There are many people in life who do not know what they deserve as a writer and even a human being. Depending on how we are taught on how to love ourselves and not settle, knowing your worth just does not apply to everyone. Well, today, it will because I am going to tell you, You are worth so much! How do you determine what your worth even is?

From A Writer’s Perspective:

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As a writer, we want so much to make it! When I say make it, I mean collect the big checks and write for a living. Can it happen? Sure, it can. It will take a lot of determination, hard work and time. Time is the most valuable to any writer. Most of us work on a deadline, but depending on what type of writing you are doing, it can be a more lenient task as well. Once we have written that book or screenplay, it is time to shop it around. This is where she find out what our worth is. I remember when I shopped my work around I always said that I would take the first offer that was thrown my way. Don’t do this. Instead do your research to learn what your worth is as a writer. You want your work to be appreciated and bought, not just bought. There are some agents who are only about money, because let’s face it, their job is to sell so they can make money. You are as valuable as your work is, do not forget life.

Your Worth With Life

Original image courtesy of Flickr Creatinve Commons, courtesy of Ali Samieivafa.

Men, you can be superman as well! I do not want to count you guys out. Life happens to a lot of people and it is has been said what we put up with what we think we deserve. Well, not anymore! This can be in your personal life, work life, and other relationships. Never allow anyone to make you feel you are not worth it. If you know you deserve that promotion, do what you have to in order to get it. One of the things that I have learned is to not tell anyone my dreams. Granted, many of you ( the readers) and friends and family know that I am writer. But, they do not know how my subjects for writing or what I plan on doing once I finish a novel, blog post, column, or whatever the case maybe. People will only do what you allow. I had a writing mentor tell me this today. It is so true. Do not be a push over. Know your worth! Your worth is everything. You deserve success and happiness.  If you do not know your worth, do not expect anyone else to calculate it for you. Love yourself and allow others to love you the way you deserve.