Setting Priorities When It Comes To Your Dreams


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Happy Sunday, Readers!

Sunday

There comes a time in your life when you must say enough is enough. My grandmother used to always say, ” Eventually you will get tired.” She said that for a lot of things and I never knew what she meant. It seemed like that statement went with every reference of life from being unhappy, not liking to do certain tasks, etc. As I was driving today thinking about another motivational video I watched, it hit me. My grandmother meant that eventually I would be tired of not being my happiest or truest self whether it involves other people or not. It got me thinking about my topics as of like dreams, success and being your best self.  I have decided that I am tired of living for others. For example,  some people think you should live your life in a way is THEIR norm. Work a normal job, get paid a normal paycheck and live a normal life. But, makes your normal different from someone else’s? Your normal is probably totally different from mine. Some people are content and happy working with a company for 30+ years, owning their home and retiring. This is one way that society has taught us to live. But, for me, what’s normal to society isn’t for me. I get bored easily ( hence the many jobs I’ve had), but I feel like this I won’t know what I like or don’t like if I don’t explore and try new things.

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I’ve come to the conclusion where I am tired of society’s opinion for my life through other people. I’ve said all week that I want to be a writer. I’m talented in it, it’s something I would do for free and still be happy with it. I enjoy writing in many different genres ,which not only keeps me out of a bubble, but I’m versatile as well. I learn to write in different areas so I can adapt to change as it comes with writing. When it comes to my life, I have to check myself and get MY priorities in order. The thoughts and opinions of other people no longer matter. I no longer seek advice from others who don’t have my same aspirations at heart. Why? They have no clue the drive and determination I have to really make it. You can have some of the best people in your life that you love and love you to an extent become your biggest downfall. We as people seek validation ( why I have no clue), but we do and we want others to tell us what’s right or wrong, or what would or wouldn’t they do. Fuck that shit! I can’t ask questions like that anymore because they aren’t me and I am not them. Our mindsets are totally different. My mother just told me today, ” If you listen to what people say, you will never go anywhere or do anything.” That advice was paramount because it was so on time for where I’m headed in life and where I am now on my new journey to being my best self and living my dreams. I know you must be asking, just what are these alleged priorities?

  1. Keep God First
  2. Take every job position as a learning experience, which will prepare me for my writing job
  3. Continue to study the craft of writing and READ as many books, articles, and blogs as I can
  4. Continue applying for ALL writing jobs until the perfect one happens.
  5. Remain Humble. I have to carry the crown before I wear it by paying my dues and starting from the bottom if I have to.
  6. Write everyday no matter what.
  7. Become 2 Corinthians 13

To Thine Own Self Be True 

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Following Your Dreams: Nature or Nurture?


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Lately, I have been watching a lot of Ted Talks and YouTube videos on how one finds their purpose and lives their fullest life. We are told at an early age in life that you can be whatever you want to be. In some ways I think this is true, but what happens when fear gets in the way of your dream. If you are like me there has been SEVERAL times where I had a lot of dreams or goals that I wanted to accomplish. I started to write when I was about 13 years old. First it was poetry, then I essay and I soon graduated to short stories and full on novels. It was a talent that I realized I had. I was someone who could tell amazing stories through words. Pretty fascinating stuff, right? When I turned 18, my dream was to be a nurse. I wanted to help people heal and get better. My mother went to school for nursing and I was inspired by her drive. It was short-lived because addiction became her focus. Then, I realized nursing wasn’t the way to go. Don’t get me wrong, I tried, I went to community college and took an anatomy and physiology class. It scared the crap out of me to learn that I had to memorize every bone in the body. That’s a lot of bones. I panicked and asked my mom for help. Not only did she know all of the bones, but she knew what bone helped what. Clearly, that was her dream and not mine. Then, later on I wanted to be a shrink. I was always told that I give great advice and that I was a trust worthy person. My mind was focused and I was a great listener. One of my professor’s  Ms. Brisel taught psychology 101 in a way that I had become fascinated and knew I was getting into the right field. So, what did I do? I got a bachelor’s degree in Behavioral Science. Guess, what? Til this day I STILL don’t use it. I tried to find a job in that field, without experience, no one will give me a shot.

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Now, I’m about 23 years old and I feel like the biggest failure known to man. I went to college, got the degree and couldn’t find a job in the field. My mind was starting to play tricks on me telling me I’m stupid and that I wasted money on a useless degree. I believed it. So, I did what any other person would do who was trying to find their way, I went back to school. First, I majored in Master’s in Social Work. I’m like yes, I am going to be a counselor! This is my time to shine and help people. Within the middle of the first semester, I put on academic probation and was flunking out. I had never told anyone that, until now. My life as I knew was in shambles. I had been a professional student for so long that I wasn’t able to find a secure job. Oh, did I mention I had just moved to North Carolina on a wing and a prayer? I had about eight thousand dollars saved and me and my friend just left. I wasn’t getting a job in Delaware so I figured I’d try my shot somewhere else. Somewhere where I wasn’t reminded of my failures within myself, my family, the friends I thought I had, the men that disappointed in life. I needed out. When the advisor told me I was flunking out of graduate school, I didn’t want to quit. I mean, I didn’t want to keep that major, but I didn’t want to quit. There I was sitting in my new 2 bedroom town house with no furniture or food, just electric, I started to write a new book, which was my third book. I did some research on new schools and found FullSail University. It was a film school that was located in Florida and I could go online. The options for majors were very long and then it found me. What was a release for me majority of my life was sitting there, it was creative writing.  I could get my MFA in Creative Writing. It was still my Master’s degree and I was still in school! Woo hoo! The phone meeting with an enrollment counselor went great. The program was for a year and I would be finished. The following year I had my Master’s in Creative Writing. Due to money issues, I was unable to go to the graduation, but I still passed. I learned to write everything, films, games, TV Pilot, Animation. I graduated with a 3.5.

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Although I got my Master’s I still wasn’t able to find a job in the field. It seemed I had to relocate to California or New York in order to write. My advisor told I didn’t have to move, but yet, I still wasn’t finding THE job I wanted. I wanted to write for a company or network. But, in all honesty, I wasn’t able to find my niche. It’s that way still. I’m so versatile in my writing that I can’t stick to one genre. But, then again, why should I? I’ve dabbled in journalism, magazines, blogs and even proposals.

Now, it’s 2018 and I’m still not writing  for a company or network. I’m still trying to find my niche. But, in between that I’ve written several books and ghost wrote a few as well. I have written many screenplays, treatments for shows and TV Pilots. It’s all in what I call (the vault), saved on my computer and USB drive. I won’t give up. My dream is to work as a writer of some sort and I will do just that. Monday I start a new job working as a customer solutions specialist. I’m going to be the best employee that I can be until it’s time to work that dream job.

Dreams

As I was thinking about my topic for today I thought about something DeVon Franklin said his book that I’m reading, ” The Hollywood Commandments A Spiritual Guide To Secular Success.” He said, ” You have to be able to carry the crown, before you can wear one.” It resonated with me because he talked about who he wanted to work in entertainment and every job that he had before he got his dream job and eventually starting his own company, prepared him to be where he is now in his life.  I believe this job I’m starting on Monday will do the same as well. Now, even though I am starting a different job, I still applied for writing jobs everywhere. I am thankful for my new job and I will serve there to the best of my ability. Who knows, I may even get to be a technical writer at my company, if something else doesn’t come along. DeVon states, ” you have to realize that you must start at the bottom in order to make it to the top. ” Or one must pay their dues. Another mentor that I’m following is Evan Michael and Laura Berman Fortgang. Evan said, ” Explore your options and find out what your purpose isn’t or what you like doing. It can only happen with experience.” He talked about trying snow boarding, salsa dancing and really enjoyed it. He said you won’t know what you don’t like to do if you don’t try it. It’s okay to explore because your purpose will find you. The bible says, ” Your gift will make room for you.” I wholeheartedly believe that. Laura said, ” A lot of people have a lot of ambition based on what they don’t want to be in their life i. e  their parents, a statistic.”  Career satisfaction doesn’t come from what you do, it comes from who you get to be while doing it. The beauty is who you get to be is the real you.”  The more I read these books by DeVon Franklin and watch videos like Evan Carmichael and Laura Fortgang, I realize that I am where I am supposed to be right now and I will be a writer because it is what I want to do. Dreams are what you make them to be. Some are born with them knowing what they want to do and some are learned by life’s experience. Is your dream nature or nurture?

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Who Are You?


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Lately I have been thinking a lot about this. As I’m reading a current book titled, ”  The Hollywood Commandments A Spiritual Guide To Secular Success and watching a few of Evan Carmichael’s videos this has my mind pondering. Who am I? Sure, I am a girl, a writer, a daughter, an aunt and sister, but deep down who am I really? My grandmother once told me that a person in their 30’s should know who they are. Yet, I feel like I am still trying to find myself.  I was recently diagnosed with cirrhosis and it has me thinking a lot about life. Am I happy where my life is right now? The more I dwell I am not. i was watching this video that Evan Carmichael had on finding your purpose. One of the exercises that he mentioned was to make a list of things that you would do if you were a millionaire or only had one week to live. Of course the living part really caught attention.   If you don’t mind, I want to share my list with you guys. If money wasn’t an option and I was living on ” borrowed” time these are what would fulfill my life.

 

  1. Become a New York Times Bestselling Author
  2. Make one of my movies and have it on a network
  3. See one of my Pilots on screen and even picked up
  4. Write for TV
  5. Live in a warm climate
  6. Have the world enjoy my stories on and off screen.
  7. Become a mother
  8. Work as a Researcher

All of these things have one major thing in common. Can you SEE what it is? If you haven’t guessed it, it’s WRITING. It’s being a writer! Writing is something that I would do all day long and for free and still be happy. But, then I ask myself, why haven’t I been writing? The stress of everyday living has started to take the joy of just jotting things down and finishing projects away from me. I’m not happy with my job, it’s not brining me joy, I’m afraid of my health and dying. So many things that hold me back from really going after the dream. The fear is called THE DEVIL. He’s busy and I have to continue to not be here for it. Ignore  the voice in my head that tells me it won’t happen, it’s a long shot or  think if I will fail. Failure isn’t an option. I choose to live and not just exist, I chose life over death.

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There are so many battles that people have in their lives, mostly with their self. We are human. It’s okay to be afraid, but we can’t give in to the fear. We must be risk takers. I was applying for a lot of jobs ( even though I’m starting a new one) where I am able to utilize my writing and research skills in some way, but not where my heart lies. Granted, I know the bills have to be paid and sometimes you have to do what you have to do and not want to do. But, where does that leave me? Sure, I can still write until I make it, I mean, that is what I plan to do. My goal is to not loose focus on the writing when life happens. Life clouds my judgement and it has really been getting to me lately. There are so many projects that I need to finish it’s not even funny. I had made a post on Facebook where I stated I was going to finish writing a film. I re-read what I wrote and then closed the computer. I keep asking myself, ” who are you?” I am a writer who will keep writing until her dreams come true no matter the obstacles. To my readers, who are you?

Can Rejections Ruin Your Confidence As A Writer?


Thursday

This Is Deep…

As a writer, it is hard for others to see your work the way that you do. I mean, how many no’s can we take? J. K. Rowling took a one too many no’s before she got her yes. I tweeted Angie Thomas, ( author of The Hate You Give) and she gave me some sound advice. She said, ” All you need is that one yes.” But, it seems with the more rejections we get as a writer, the less excited we feel that our yes will come. With writing, can the rejections ruin our confidence?

Okay…

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Growing up as children we all hated the word NO. So, it is only right that as an adult we still do not like the word, especially when it comes to something we think is so perfect like our writing. I will be honest, in my lifetime, I have given up on my writing abilities three times due to rejection. There was one time I was querying agents for a book and I did not understand why I was getting rejected. Once, I did my research the correct way and not listened to what other writers were telling me, I realized why. My stories were not aligned with the correct word count.

Once I realized my wrong doing, I self-published all of my books. For a while, the ,money was great, but after a while, the money stops. Then I felt like I had exhausted all possibilities to make money from this way. The more writing I was doing, the more I felt that I had to re-invent myself in some way. Now, I have a completed book that I want to be published the traditional route. The process of getting an agent is tough, but it will be worth it once I get my yes. This experience is damping my spirits just a bit, but I am not going to give up. I said to myself, ” My stories are not good and I am throwing in the towel.” Then, I had someone inbox me via social media and asked me when was my next book coming out. The message that the young lady sent me was HOPE. In that moment, I realized that I could not writing or telling stories. They were in me and it is my duty to share it with the world. Never give up, keep the confidence and the faith. You are a writer.

The Waiting Game With Queries


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Happy Wednesday! I hope all is well on you end. As for me, I am learning patience in more ways than one. Let’s see, I will say that my mind is on an overload from querying so many agents. Granted, agents look so many queries everyday, but for some reason I have in my mind that they are supposed to respond to me as soon as I send the e-mail. LOL! This is silly I know. I am learning patience, but it is getting hard.

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I have read and watching many videos on how to pass the time when waiting to hear back from agents. Thus far, I have queried about 60 agents and have gotten 8 rejections. The ball can still be in my court, so I have not given up hope yet. It is still alive. Since I have started this process of traditional publishing, my mind has not been on writing anything but my blogs here and my article for Conscious Talk Magazine ( btw, go subscribe at conscioustalkmag.com). I am still job hunting like crazy so I am trying to stay occupied. How can you when you read books that are NYT’s Best Sellers and know that pieces or a few pages of your works is out there for agents to read and determine if I have a best seller too? So, this is what I have come up with:

  1. Meditation – Relieve some of the anxiety that I am feeling.
  2. Pray – Prayer changes EVERYTHING!
  3. Read – This is a given. You can not be a writer if you are not a reader first. ~ Stephen King
  4. Talk To Writer Friends – I do not have many writer friends that I talk to often so I will have to get some new ones on twitter.
  5. Breathe – This is a given.

Get out of your own way

 

Lately, to pass the time I have been thinking a lot about my life thus now and where I want to be in the next five years both personally and professionally. My goal is to be a New York Time’s Best Seller and continue to write books while I change the world with my words. I will still work a day time job as well ( preferably with writing) or helping in some capacity whether it is through research, etc.

 

Learning To Play The Hand You Were Dealt


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Good evening, readers! As I sitting in my bed thinking, I thought I would write a blog for today. Things have not been going well as I thought it would. The job fell through that I was working for. Turns out, I was hired when I did not have the correct credentials to teach. This is a bummer. Luckily, I still have the writing gig, but it is not full-time. So, back to the drawing board I go. When life gives you a hand, you have to play in order to win the game. No matter what, I will always stay in the game.

I am not blogging to complain, but to inspire. I have cried long enough today. My tears are now dry and it is time to keep playing the game and win. This is all a part of God’s plan to show me my next move. But, whatever it is, trust me, my next move will be my best move. Learning to move in silence. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

Want A Paid Writing Gig?


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My fellow writers! I have a GEM for you! I know how we writers want to make a living writing or at least be appreciated for what we have to bring to the table, right? I came across this online paid magazine by networking right here on wordpress. I started to read other’s blogs and BOOM there it was! Yes, I am talking about this banner right here:

This is totally legit! I even signed a contract and met other writers for the magazine as well. This is a new magazine and I must say that I very excited to accept the position of a columnist! My areas of expertise will be for Bookish News and Reviews, Writer’s Life and Fashion & Beauty sections. I could not be more proud to be a part of a great magazine. If you have more questions please do hesitate to email the editor at EDITOR@CONSCIOUSTALKMAG.COM.

My Thoughts:

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If you look back on my  What’s On Your Writer’s Bucket List?  back in 2013, I stated that I wanted to write for a company. I did not specify what type of company because it could be anything. I have been a contributing writer for a few magazines, but never having my own column(s). This opportunity is so exciting for me. You have no idea. I want all of my writer friends to join in on this venture with me if you are interested and have the time.

Writing Woes


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Hey readers! It’s Wednesday and that usually is the least favorite day of the week for most. If you are like me, I rather enjoy this day. It is in the middle. If you have writing goals like I do, then it should be a good day. Today, I am focusing on reading, but getting my writing schedule together for tomorrow. I have a story that I need to finish. I had stopped it to complete my latest project, but now I am thinking about the story more and more. What do you do when you can not get a story out of your head? You write!!

Writing Woes

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As a writer we have so much on your minds with life that the woes can bring our writing down. At times we can be so lost in ourselves that our craft suffers. I know I have had my share of woes this year. With trying to find a job and still thinking about my writing, the writing woes has really done a number on me. But, if you focus on the positive, the negative will eliminate itself. Or so it should. Channel the positive energy with your life and your writing. It took me a few years to eliminate negative things and people from my life. At one point, I thought they had to stay because we used to be close or it was being ” nice. Well, not anymore. I am happy with where my life is headed for the most part. The only thing left to do is get an agent so that I can write books for a living full time. It’s almost every writers dream, right?

Life can be much and it also happens. We can not control the things that are going to happen. Meaning, in our lives what we can control is how we react to things and people. The last thing I want is my writing to suffer because of things that are out of my control. Writing woe is not me and it most certainly will be you. Make a schedule and write just a little bit a day. At the end of the day, when you feel that you have no one and life is not perfect, your words are always there to carry you through.

Procrastination


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Happy Monday! I know please do not sound so grim. It will not be that bad today. We are all going to have a good day, right? Right! I wanted to touch on procrastination. We all do it and as we do it, we wish that it was not a thing. For any writer it is hard to keep on track sometimes. We may have something going on in our lives where writing seems impossible. I have been there and I know that life happens.

How do we not procrastinate? Well, I have a couple of things that have helped me. Sometimes we have to do things that are out of our norm or things we would usually do. There will be trial and error, but figuring out what works for you.

  • Keeping A Schedule  – This can work many ways. You can keep a calendar and put different things that you write on different days. For example, on Monday, write a blog, Tuesday, write three chapters of a novel, on Wednesday work on journaling. Having a calendar can be beneficial. But, if you are like me, this does not work. It will work for a few days and then that is it.
  • Writing Daily  –  It’s a little similar to keep a schedule, but not really. Writing daily can be for the same project. If you are writing a novel or a screenplay, you may write every day until the project is finished. This can be more of a habit because on the days you do not write, you will feel weird when you have not written anything.
  • Writing Partner  – I have had many writing partners or buddies through out of writing career. They are there to hold you accountable with your writing. Your partner may suggest sprints or even put you on a writing schedule to make sure that you are keeping busy. I have an accountability partner, her name is Jennifer. She is a great friend. We met in a writing group on Facebook and have been rocking out together since. I have read her work and vice versa.
  • Writing Prompts  – I know we have those days when we are not really into our projects. It is okay. We are human and have those days at times. What works best for me is to still write by utilizing a writing prompt. Sometimes I will blog it or write in my writing journal.

These are just a few things that you can do to not procrastinate. Will you follow these examples and never procrastinate again? Of course not. I will not even follow these all the time, but it is nice to do when you are feeling like you are in a writing slump. Let’s talk in the comments, what do you do to not procrastinate?

Rejection


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Hey readers. Sorry, it has been a over a week since I have talked to you. But, I am here now. Over the next few blogs you will see why I have been MIA with you guys. I chose this quote this morning by Paulo Coelho, because I felt I needed to write and stop the crying.

As you know, I have been applying for many jobs over the last ten months and I have not been lucky. I apply for the jobs, go on a few interviews and nothing because I have too much education. Yesterday, I have a job interview for a customer service position. I dressed very professionally and I was there a whole hour early. I was ready. I knew the company, my goal for the company, etc. But, unfortunately, I did not get the position. I got the rejection this morning and I am really feeling some type of way. You would think I would be used to it by now, right? It still hurts because in my mind you are not giving me a chance to show you what I can do or allow me to prove myself.

Just with writing, it is very hard to accept when someone does not want you. Especially, when you have a lot to offer. This can go for work, writing, dating and life in general. I am trying to keep my head up and know that better is coming, but right now it still stings a bit. Please keep me in your prayers.