Declutter Your Life

Happy Saturday! Tweety bird is one of my favorites! I love her bubbly attitude and outlook on life. She does not have a care in the world and does not need valdiation from anyone. We need to be more like tweety bird! Now that we have lots of down time and it is the spring time, have you thought about spring cleaning? Sure, it’s fun to get organized and get rid of the things you don’t want in the home. They have gotten old and we don’t utilize them anymore.  Once we complete this task, we are refreshed, happier and have space for important things, right? Why don’t we do this with our life’?

How many of you have numbers stored in your phone to people you don’t talk to? If you do talk to them it is because they need something from you be it money, your time or for them to drop their emotional baggage on you so that they can feel better? Or how many of you put up with things and people because you feel it is the right thing to do but it does not add any value to your life but it adds more pressure and stress? Those people and situations don’t belong in your life. Declutter and do a brain dump. I will give you an example, I know a lot of people and used to call them friends. I have been home sick with pnemonia and am quarentined because I am high risk. Now, to those I don’t talk to on a regular or everyday basis won’t know this information, right? However, we are still in a crisis. Out of the 85 contacts in my phone, I only talk to 5 of them daily and 2 out of the 5 are my parents. So, 3 people have called and checked on me to see if I’m just okay. Of course the phone works both ways, but those 80 people I have not spoken to in at least a year. But, when they need to brain dump or ask me for something, my phone rings. Oppurtunists are not good for the soul. Learn the difference between someone actually caring to just needing you for the moment. Once the moment is gone so are they.   This doesn’t just go for friends or family, but situations in life, too. If you are a people pleaser say no. Your mental space and health is more important than to make sure others are okay when they can find another solution to THEIR problem because let’s face it, when in crisis everyone comes to you,  but when you are in crisis who do you have to turn to? The same people that come to you will suddendly make it their business to be unavailable. Declutter your life so you can have the mental space to live free and be happy because happiness is something you create, not anyone else.

Be Productive During This Time

Happy Friday! For those that are working, I know you are excited that this day has come. To those who are home with pay or just at home, this blog is for you. I go back to work on Monday ( from home), but I am a little mad at myself that I wasted 2 whole days watching YouTube and sleeping, lol. Granted I am getting over being sick, but I could have more productive. How, you ask? Well, I have so many books that I need to finish writing and finish reading.  If you read yesterday’s blog, you know I want to blog every day! I’m proud to have stuck to day 2 of consistency.  Nonetheless, my point is to take the time to do some things that you didn’t have time to do because you were working.

If you wanted to start a business, now is your chance! Want to write that book that you’ve been putting off? Do that to. We can’t allow this situation to put fear in us from continued living. I’m going to continue writing and figure out how I can be paid to do just that as a side hustle. Learning is re-learning. Always remain teachable  and the sky is the limit. Taking action steps to do the unthinkable shows not only character, but that you don’t give up. Tell me, what is one thing that you enjoy doing that you would do it for free if it still brings you joy? Whatever that is, figure out how to bring in income doing just that. It just maybe your calling. I know I am. Be Productive. Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

Having More Than One Dream, Is It Possible?

Good morning, readers! It is about 7:45am and my day started at 7. I have a new schedule at work that I’m not fond of, but we are here. I am grateful for the little things so that I can be blessed with bigger! Yesterday, I was watching a church sermon from Bethany Baptist church! If you guys are not familar, check them out on Facebook every Sunday, they go live. One of the messages that stood out to me was, ”  figure out what you want to change in the world and focus on that.” The Bishop said that is where your passion lies. Now, my 18 year old self had SO many things that I wanted to contribute to the world and I’m thinking about that as my 35 year old self! Speaking of, I’m REALLY 35. Like, where did the time go? I mean, I remember graduating high school and taking my senior pictures. Anywho, the statement really had me thinking because there are only two things that come to mind. Writing and Finance. Which brings me to our topic today. Is it possible to have more than one dream? Of course!!  Why not? I follow Kumiko aka The  Budget Mom and she said something that was SO profound. She said, ” Let’s stop leaving the big dreams to millionaires!”

There is nothing wrong with have more than one passion. We are gifted in so many things. I’ve been told that I’d make a great counselor, accountant, writer, even speaker. Believe it or not, I am not fond of speaking in front of crowd’s. But, who knows I may have a passion for it later in life. If you see something that you quickly develop a knack for or it comes easy to you, look deeper into that. It maybe a new passion or gift. I love to write, but I have not been writing a lot. Dealing with the stress of student loan debt and figuring out how to pay it off with my small salary( at least not enough to really put a dent in my loans) was taking up so much in my mind. But, NO MORE! The debt will be there until it’s not. As long as I am making more than my minimum payment, that will suffice for now. Cinderella once said, ” A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep.” There is truth to that! When I lay down at night, I dream about  budget coaching and helping people manage their finances. This is something that I want to do as a side hustle for now and continue my writing endeavors. But, when you become self employed, to me its’ hard to find people who will pay your services. I just need to look and find the people that will respect my craft and my passion and will actually want the services.

Having dreams is something that should not frustate, but it should excite you. Make a plan and then put action behind it. Do not allow anyone to tell you what is good for you and your life. If that dream is to become a chef, cook everyday. Start allowing people you don’t know to try your meals. Get an internship or a part time job at a resturant. As long as you are passionate about it, others will start to take notice, too. I’ve talked about my writing and my finance passions at work. It’s funny, I could see people judge or smirk from afar. One girl said, ” Well if you have done all of this and you like finance, why are you here?” I often get that question a lot! My answer is, ” Well, I have several streams of income and this just happens to be 1 of them.” Then she got quiet. In a sense, I’m not lying, lol. I do get royalties from my books when they sell and I will try to make a way to get money from this blog as well. See, potential revunue for your work! But, this goes to show, you can not tell everyone your passion and dreams. Just like that girl who asked, ” well why are you here and the other looks I got.” They are not happy that I have more than one dream or even income. They are called ” haters”. With haters you have to erase them from your mind and keep going. She could have simply said, ” That’s great that you do more than one thing or how does this job that we do correlate with your passions?” It could have been many questions asked. But, yet, she thinks I’m lying about my other income streams because I’m working their full time. But, here’s the thing. We are not responsible for what other people think about us. It’s simply none of our business. Now that I know how she is, I will just not speak anymore on the subject matter. Once you know your dreams, take the time and patience to see them through.

Accomplishing Our Purpose, On Purpose

The statue above has been my mood for a couple of days now. Is it your mood as well when it comes to your purpose? Currently, I’m reading The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. If you haven’t read it, PLEASE DO! The story that I just finished is called, ” Seven Cures For A Lean Purse.” As I read these cures, I noticed that it was a replica of how to get in tune with your personal finances. It reminded me of Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, Tony Robbins, Warren Buffet, all of the greats who have had the opportunity to become wealthy. But, there was a section in the book that spoke on accomplishing your purpose.

Now…

We often hear or have heard to trust the process, but how do you do that on purpose or with our purpose? There comes a time when we feel like we have our lives figured out to a T and we know what we will become and how we will benefit from it. It’s funny, my mom just said today if you want to make God laugh, make plans. We learn so many things and can be passionate about all of them, but still have trouble seeking what it is we are not only good at, but can do that will make us money and we won’t get bored. Or, is that just me?

When I was a senior in highschool, my father told me to take up accounting because it made $60,000 a year at that time. I wanted no parts of it. I was afraid because I wasn’t the best at math in school. I got a C. He told me, if you can count your money, you can be an accountant. Well, I wanted to help people. I loved giving advice and writing. First, it went to being working in Human Services, which was my first major at community college, I got wind of psychology and fell in LOVE! Then, I wanted to be a shrink and diagnose people mainly because the people in my household were crazy, lol. Then, I wrote my first book after a very bad break up that led to more break ups. I wanted to tell that story and I did. Now, thirteen years later, I develop this passion for personal finance. I noticed my current and previous roles were in the financial services industry. I did collections, customer service for student loans, collected on credit cards and now working with accounts who have six figures and will call about being charged twice for an item on their card. I mean, I get it, it’s their money. I’ve become fascinated with my journey of becoming debt free and personal finance. Crunching numbers, budgeting and figuring out where money goes, is enjoyable to me. Now, I find myself wishing I would have majored in accounting, lol.

How do we accomplish our purpose on purpose, if we are still trying to fine tune what it is? Granted, we learn through trial and error, this job, that job, this opportunity, that opportunity. What will stick that is ours and ours alone? At least the talent portion of it and wanting to do it. They say, if you love what you do, then it’s never a job. No matter if you know your purpose or you are still fine tuning it, keep at it and be the best at whatever it is you are doing. Excel in that job, career or entrepreneur on purpose until your purpose finds you!

Why Is Validation So Important?

Hey readers! There has been a lot on my mind regarding validation. I feel we are in a society where we care about what others think. In my opinion, that is SO unesseccary. Why are we so fixated on what others think about us? I’m at the point in my life where I don’t care what anyone thinks about my lifes choices whether it’s a decision based on who I date, how much money I make, where I live, etc. We are so wrapped up with what others think it’s almost unfathomable. I mean, we try to wear name brand clothes, have the best cars, good paying jobs, makeup and even love interest to post pics and long drawn out stories on Facebook just for a like or a love emoji? What is that? Lol.

I’ve considered deleting my social media just because it’s such a time and soul crusher it’s not even funny. I’ve been re-reading a book called The Hollywood Commandments by DeVon Franklin and it talks about giving up or sacrifcing something to focus on God more. I think Facebook is that sacrifice. I will still have it to promote my book that is coming out next month, but other than that I don’t think I’ll post or scroll as much. There comes a time when you have to decide what you put your focus on. Mine needs to be writing and being successful with writing.

I LOVE this book! You have no idea. He talks about different ways that your gift makes room for you. I can not wait until my gifts continue to do that on bigger platforms. My goal is to write for a living whether it be for myself, a company or even a newsroom. My name will everywhere! I can guarntee that if I can’t guarntee anything else.  DeVon had to sacrifice a lot of things to get to where he is and I respect his work ethic so much. If you haven’t read this book, check it out!

Coming In December 2018

I must say that I have VERY excited for my new self-help book to come out! This book is for writers who want to write a book or a screenplay. I give some tips that I have learned from film school and with writing mentors that I’ve had over the years. I hope this will help writers get started in the process. This book means so much to be, and I was really nervous to be on the cover, but I am glad that I decided to do it. Also, in this book I talk how I got started with writing, my ups and down and more.

There are always going to be people who have something to say about what you do. It does not matter what profession you choose, clothes you wear, even down to the types of meals you eat. People will always find a way to either tear you down or lift you up. In the event that does happen, why does their opinion have to validate you?

 

Setting Priorities When It Comes To Your Dreams

Happy Sunday, Readers!

There comes a time in your life when you must say enough is enough. My grandmother used to always say, ” Eventually you will get tired.” She said that for a lot of things and I never knew what she meant. It seemed like that statement went with every reference of life from being unhappy, not liking to do certain tasks, etc. As I was driving today thinking about another motivational video I watched, it hit me. My grandmother meant that eventually I would be tired of not being my happiest or truest self whether it involves other people or not. It got me thinking about my topics as of like dreams, success and being your best self.  I have decided that I am tired of living for others. For example,  some people think you should live your life in a way is THEIR norm. Work a normal job, get paid a normal paycheck and live a normal life. But, makes your normal different from someone else’s? Your normal is probably totally different from mine. Some people are content and happy working with a company for 30+ years, owning their home and retiring. This is one way that society has taught us to live. But, for me, what’s normal to society isn’t for me. I get bored easily ( hence the many jobs I’ve had), but I feel like this I won’t know what I like or don’t like if I don’t explore and try new things.

I’ve come to the conclusion where I am tired of society’s opinion for my life through other people. I’ve said all week that I want to be a writer. I’m talented in it, it’s something I would do for free and still be happy with it. I enjoy writing in many different genres ,which not only keeps me out of a bubble, but I’m versatile as well. I learn to write in different areas so I can adapt to change as it comes with writing. When it comes to my life, I have to check myself and get MY priorities in order. The thoughts and opinions of other people no longer matter. I no longer seek advice from others who don’t have my same aspirations at heart. Why? They have no clue the drive and determination I have to really make it. You can have some of the best people in your life that you love and love you to an extent become your biggest downfall. We as people seek validation ( why I have no clue), but we do and we want others to tell us what’s right or wrong, or what would or wouldn’t they do. Fuck that shit! I can’t ask questions like that anymore because they aren’t me and I am not them. Our mindsets are totally different. My mother just told me today, ” If you listen to what people say, you will never go anywhere or do anything.” That advice was paramount because it was so on time for where I’m headed in life and where I am now on my new journey to being my best self and living my dreams. I know you must be asking, just what are these alleged priorities?

1. Keep God First
2. Take every job position as a learning experience, which will prepare me for my writing job
3. Continue to study the craft of writing and READ as many books, articles, and blogs as I can
4. Continue applying for ALL writing jobs until the perfect one happens.
5. Remain Humble. I have to carry the crown before I wear it by paying my dues and starting from the bottom if I have to.
6. Write everyday no matter what.
7. Become 2 Corinthians 13

To Thine Own Self Be True 

Following Your Dreams: Nature or Nurture?

Lately, I have been watching a lot of Ted Talks and YouTube videos on how one finds their purpose and lives their fullest life. We are told at an early age in life that you can be whatever you want to be. In some ways I think this is true, but what happens when fear gets in the way of your dream. If you are like me there has been SEVERAL times where I had a lot of dreams or goals that I wanted to accomplish. I started to write when I was about 13 years old. First it was poetry, then I essay and I soon graduated to short stories and full on novels. It was a talent that I realized I had. I was someone who could tell amazing stories through words. Pretty fascinating stuff, right? When I turned 18, my dream was to be a nurse. I wanted to help people heal and get better. My mother went to school for nursing and I was inspired by her drive. It was short-lived because addiction became her focus. Then, I realized nursing wasn’t the way to go. Don’t get me wrong, I tried, I went to community college and took an anatomy and physiology class. It scared the crap out of me to learn that I had to memorize every bone in the body. That’s a lot of bones. I panicked and asked my mom for help. Not only did she know all of the bones, but she knew what bone helped what. Clearly, that was her dream and not mine. Then, later on I wanted to be a shrink. I was always told that I give great advice and that I was a trust worthy person. My mind was focused and I was a great listener. One of my professor’s  Ms. Brisel taught psychology 101 in a way that I had become fascinated and knew I was getting into the right field. So, what did I do? I got a bachelor’s degree in Behavioral Science. Guess, what? Til this day I STILL don’t use it. I tried to find a job in that field, without experience, no one will give me a shot.

Now, I’m about 23 years old and I feel like the biggest failure known to man. I went to college, got the degree and couldn’t find a job in the field. My mind was starting to play tricks on me telling me I’m stupid and that I wasted money on a useless degree. I believed it. So, I did what any other person would do who was trying to find their way, I went back to school. First, I majored in Master’s in Social Work. I’m like yes, I am going to be a counselor! This is my time to shine and help people. Within the middle of the first semester, I put on academic probation and was flunking out. I had never told anyone that, until now. My life as I knew was in shambles. I had been a professional student for so long that I wasn’t able to find a secure job. Oh, did I mention I had just moved to North Carolina on a wing and a prayer? I had about eight thousand dollars saved and me and my friend just left. I wasn’t getting a job in Delaware so I figured I’d try my shot somewhere else. Somewhere where I wasn’t reminded of my failures within myself, my family, the friends I thought I had, the men that disappointed in life. I needed out. When the advisor told me I was flunking out of graduate school, I didn’t want to quit. I mean, I didn’t want to keep that major, but I didn’t want to quit. There I was sitting in my new 2 bedroom town house with no furniture or food, just electric, I started to write a new book, which was my third book. I did some research on new schools and found FullSail University. It was a film school that was located in Florida and I could go online. The options for majors were very long and then it found me. What was a release for me majority of my life was sitting there, it was creative writing.  I could get my MFA in Creative Writing. It was still my Master’s degree and I was still in school! Woo hoo! The phone meeting with an enrollment counselor went great. The program was for a year and I would be finished. The following year I had my Master’s in Creative Writing. Due to money issues, I was unable to go to the graduation, but I still passed. I learned to write everything, films, games, TV Pilot, Animation. I graduated with a 3.5.

Although I got my Master’s I still wasn’t able to find a job in the field. It seemed I had to relocate to California or New York in order to write. My advisor told I didn’t have to move, but yet, I still wasn’t finding THE job I wanted. I wanted to write for a company or network. But, in all honesty, I wasn’t able to find my niche. It’s that way still. I’m so versatile in my writing that I can’t stick to one genre. But, then again, why should I? I’ve dabbled in journalism, magazines, blogs and even proposals.

Now, it’s 2018 and I’m still not writing  for a company or network. I’m still trying to find my niche. But, in between that I’ve written several books and ghost wrote a few as well. I have written many screenplays, treatments for shows and TV Pilots. It’s all in what I call (the vault), saved on my computer and USB drive. I won’t give up. My dream is to work as a writer of some sort and I will do just that. Monday I start a new job working as a customer solutions specialist. I’m going to be the best employee that I can be until it’s time to work that dream job.

As I was thinking about my topic for today I thought about something DeVon Franklin said his book that I’m reading, ” The Hollywood Commandments A Spiritual Guide To Secular Success.” He said, ” You have to be able to carry the crown, before you can wear one.” It resonated with me because he talked about who he wanted to work in entertainment and every job that he had before he got his dream job and eventually starting his own company, prepared him to be where he is now in his life.  I believe this job I’m starting on Monday will do the same as well. Now, even though I am starting a different job, I still applied for writing jobs everywhere. I am thankful for my new job and I will serve there to the best of my ability. Who knows, I may even get to be a technical writer at my company, if something else doesn’t come along. DeVon states, ” you have to realize that you must start at the bottom in order to make it to the top. ” Or one must pay their dues. Another mentor that I’m following is Evan Michael and Laura Berman Fortgang. Evan said, ” Explore your options and find out what your purpose isn’t or what you like doing. It can only happen with experience.” He talked about trying snow boarding, salsa dancing and really enjoyed it. He said you won’t know what you don’t like to do if you don’t try it. It’s okay to explore because your purpose will find you. The bible says, ” Your gift will make room for you.” I wholeheartedly believe that. Laura said, ” A lot of people have a lot of ambition based on what they don’t want to be in their life i. e  their parents, a statistic.”  Career satisfaction doesn’t come from what you do, it comes from who you get to be while doing it. The beauty is who you get to be is the real you.”  The more I read these books by DeVon Franklin and watch videos like Evan Carmichael and Laura Fortgang, I realize that I am where I am supposed to be right now and I will be a writer because it is what I want to do. Dreams are what you make them to be. Some are born with them knowing what they want to do and some are learned by life’s experience. Is your dream nature or nurture?

In Life, How Do You Trust The Process?

There comes a time when life gets hard. You always ask yourself, ” When will things get better?” Lately, this has been my question with everything going on. I love to keep it real on my blog. I do not think of it as telling my business or putting myself out there. In a way I am putting myself out there, but that is because I am giving you me. My reality is not a great one right now. Still on the search for a job has become very daunting and stressful. I have not thought about  suicide, but I will say the rejection does get to me. Tonight, I listened to an interview by DeVon Franklin and he talked about his new book called ” The Ten Hollywood Commandments” and I LOVED the interview. It spoke to me in a way where I know that in my heart everything will be fine. Last year I did a service in AmeriCorps and my program manager told me to ” trust the process” and I would roll my eyes. In turn, I had no clue what it mean and how it applied to my life. Out of ignorance, I will say that I did not appreciate the program until now that I am out of it. Watching the interview, DeVon said, ” You can’t wear the crown until you have held it.” At first I did not understand what he was talking about until he said, ” you have to go through the process of serving until you make it to the top and then once you do, you still serve.” Lying in my bed, I was like, ” Oh shit!” What we go through is only temporary until the better opportunity presents itself.

It brought me back to when I was in a training for AmeriCorps and my program manager said to trust the process. Always be willing to serve and do your best. Now that I think about it, my mindset was horrible. I was horrible with my thinking that I was better or the position was ” beneath me.” Then I heard DeVon say, ” When you are at the bottom, what is beneath you?” The statement resonated with me so much. I was so on my high-horse when I was in fact at the bottom and should have been happy to serve. My friend and other person who was in the program serving and he is employed at that very place today. I was not offered a position even though I did my job. It’s funny how life will make you take a nice big slice of humble pie. Thinking back this other person was eager and happy to learn. He trusted the process and made it work for him where as I complained about the pay, the education and how the service was beneath me.  The good thing is I can ALWAYS learn from my mistakes and approach things differently. I am not a promoter for DeVon Franklin, but I really enjoyed his book, ” The Wait” and when I am able to I will purchase his new book. I chose to take his word and trust the process with my writing, a job and even life.

Why I Write

Hey readers! It seems that my bed is the perfect place to always write a blog or two. My mind has been focused on my current w.i.p ( work in progress) and of course I have not finished the other book that I started. Go figure. My mentor told me to write on what is speaking to me the most. Thanks, Deatri!

To some who have been subscribed to my blog for the last five years this may seem redundant, but I started writing poetry. I was subjected to bullying and did not know how to speak up for myself. I was not the poster child for not caring what others thought. I was fifteen years old, shy, timid and trying to figure out who I am. Well, in some ways I am still trying to do that, but at least I know that I am a writer, right? Writing was a way for me to no longer be a coward. It was me telling people to f off or leave me alone, but also hear my heart and be my friend. The words would flow so freely. It was like I was a public figure without no one even knowing who I was.

At almost seventeen years later, I have grown. I no longer hide behind my words, but now I tell the world my thoughts in a positive way where people can see my side. My point of view of different topics influenced by some of the greats like Stephen King, Colleen Hoover and even Libba Bray. Now I use my voice instead of hiding behind it. My voice matters and my voice is enough. When you writing, know that if your voice stands out to at least one person, that is all you need.

Can Rejections Ruin Your Confidence As A Writer?

This Is Deep…

As a writer, it is hard for others to see your work the way that you do. I mean, how many no’s can we take? J. K. Rowling took a one too many no’s before she got her yes. I tweeted Angie Thomas, ( author of The Hate You Give) and she gave me some sound advice. She said, ” All you need is that one yes.” But, it seems with the more rejections we get as a writer, the less excited we feel that our yes will come. With writing, can the rejections ruin our confidence?

Okay…

Growing up as children we all hated the word NO. So, it is only right that as an adult we still do not like the word, especially when it comes to something we think is so perfect like our writing. I will be honest, in my lifetime, I have given up on my writing abilities three times due to rejection. There was one time I was querying agents for a book and I did not understand why I was getting rejected. Once, I did my research the correct way and not listened to what other writers were telling me, I realized why. My stories were not aligned with the correct word count.

Once I realized my wrong doing, I self-published all of my books. For a while, the ,money was great, but after a while, the money stops. Then I felt like I had exhausted all possibilities to make money from this way. The more writing I was doing, the more I felt that I had to re-invent myself in some way. Now, I have a completed book that I want to be published the traditional route. The process of getting an agent is tough, but it will be worth it once I get my yes. This experience is damping my spirits just a bit, but I am not going to give up. I said to myself, ” My stories are not good and I am throwing in the towel.” Then, I had someone inbox me via social media and asked me when was my next book coming out. The message that the young lady sent me was HOPE. In that moment, I realized that I could not writing or telling stories. They were in me and it is my duty to share it with the world. Never give up, keep the confidence and the faith. You are a writer.