Declutter Your Life

Happy Saturday! Tweety bird is one of my favorites! I love her bubbly attitude and outlook on life. She does not have a care in the world and does not need valdiation from anyone. We need to be more like tweety bird! Now that we have lots of down time and it is the spring time, have you thought about spring cleaning? Sure, it’s fun to get organized and get rid of the things you don’t want in the home. They have gotten old and we don’t utilize them anymore.  Once we complete this task, we are refreshed, happier and have space for important things, right? Why don’t we do this with our life’?

How many of you have numbers stored in your phone to people you don’t talk to? If you do talk to them it is because they need something from you be it money, your time or for them to drop their emotional baggage on you so that they can feel better? Or how many of you put up with things and people because you feel it is the right thing to do but it does not add any value to your life but it adds more pressure and stress? Those people and situations don’t belong in your life. Declutter and do a brain dump. I will give you an example, I know a lot of people and used to call them friends. I have been home sick with pnemonia and am quarentined because I am high risk. Now, to those I don’t talk to on a regular or everyday basis won’t know this information, right? However, we are still in a crisis. Out of the 85 contacts in my phone, I only talk to 5 of them daily and 2 out of the 5 are my parents. So, 3 people have called and checked on me to see if I’m just okay. Of course the phone works both ways, but those 80 people I have not spoken to in at least a year. But, when they need to brain dump or ask me for something, my phone rings. Oppurtunists are not good for the soul. Learn the difference between someone actually caring to just needing you for the moment. Once the moment is gone so are they.   This doesn’t just go for friends or family, but situations in life, too. If you are a people pleaser say no. Your mental space and health is more important than to make sure others are okay when they can find another solution to THEIR problem because let’s face it, when in crisis everyone comes to you,  but when you are in crisis who do you have to turn to? The same people that come to you will suddendly make it their business to be unavailable. Declutter your life so you can have the mental space to live free and be happy because happiness is something you create, not anyone else.

Be Productive During This Time

Happy Friday! For those that are working, I know you are excited that this day has come. To those who are home with pay or just at home, this blog is for you. I go back to work on Monday ( from home), but I am a little mad at myself that I wasted 2 whole days watching YouTube and sleeping, lol. Granted I am getting over being sick, but I could have more productive. How, you ask? Well, I have so many books that I need to finish writing and finish reading.  If you read yesterday’s blog, you know I want to blog every day! I’m proud to have stuck to day 2 of consistency.  Nonetheless, my point is to take the time to do some things that you didn’t have time to do because you were working.

If you wanted to start a business, now is your chance! Want to write that book that you’ve been putting off? Do that to. We can’t allow this situation to put fear in us from continued living. I’m going to continue writing and figure out how I can be paid to do just that as a side hustle. Learning is re-learning. Always remain teachable  and the sky is the limit. Taking action steps to do the unthinkable shows not only character, but that you don’t give up. Tell me, what is one thing that you enjoy doing that you would do it for free if it still brings you joy? Whatever that is, figure out how to bring in income doing just that. It just maybe your calling. I know I am. Be Productive. Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

Following Your Dreams: Nature or Nurture?

Lately, I have been watching a lot of Ted Talks and YouTube videos on how one finds their purpose and lives their fullest life. We are told at an early age in life that you can be whatever you want to be. In some ways I think this is true, but what happens when fear gets in the way of your dream. If you are like me there has been SEVERAL times where I had a lot of dreams or goals that I wanted to accomplish. I started to write when I was about 13 years old. First it was poetry, then I essay and I soon graduated to short stories and full on novels. It was a talent that I realized I had. I was someone who could tell amazing stories through words. Pretty fascinating stuff, right? When I turned 18, my dream was to be a nurse. I wanted to help people heal and get better. My mother went to school for nursing and I was inspired by her drive. It was short-lived because addiction became her focus. Then, I realized nursing wasn’t the way to go. Don’t get me wrong, I tried, I went to community college and took an anatomy and physiology class. It scared the crap out of me to learn that I had to memorize every bone in the body. That’s a lot of bones. I panicked and asked my mom for help. Not only did she know all of the bones, but she knew what bone helped what. Clearly, that was her dream and not mine. Then, later on I wanted to be a shrink. I was always told that I give great advice and that I was a trust worthy person. My mind was focused and I was a great listener. One of my professor’s  Ms. Brisel taught psychology 101 in a way that I had become fascinated and knew I was getting into the right field. So, what did I do? I got a bachelor’s degree in Behavioral Science. Guess, what? Til this day I STILL don’t use it. I tried to find a job in that field, without experience, no one will give me a shot.

Now, I’m about 23 years old and I feel like the biggest failure known to man. I went to college, got the degree and couldn’t find a job in the field. My mind was starting to play tricks on me telling me I’m stupid and that I wasted money on a useless degree. I believed it. So, I did what any other person would do who was trying to find their way, I went back to school. First, I majored in Master’s in Social Work. I’m like yes, I am going to be a counselor! This is my time to shine and help people. Within the middle of the first semester, I put on academic probation and was flunking out. I had never told anyone that, until now. My life as I knew was in shambles. I had been a professional student for so long that I wasn’t able to find a secure job. Oh, did I mention I had just moved to North Carolina on a wing and a prayer? I had about eight thousand dollars saved and me and my friend just left. I wasn’t getting a job in Delaware so I figured I’d try my shot somewhere else. Somewhere where I wasn’t reminded of my failures within myself, my family, the friends I thought I had, the men that disappointed in life. I needed out. When the advisor told me I was flunking out of graduate school, I didn’t want to quit. I mean, I didn’t want to keep that major, but I didn’t want to quit. There I was sitting in my new 2 bedroom town house with no furniture or food, just electric, I started to write a new book, which was my third book. I did some research on new schools and found FullSail University. It was a film school that was located in Florida and I could go online. The options for majors were very long and then it found me. What was a release for me majority of my life was sitting there, it was creative writing.  I could get my MFA in Creative Writing. It was still my Master’s degree and I was still in school! Woo hoo! The phone meeting with an enrollment counselor went great. The program was for a year and I would be finished. The following year I had my Master’s in Creative Writing. Due to money issues, I was unable to go to the graduation, but I still passed. I learned to write everything, films, games, TV Pilot, Animation. I graduated with a 3.5.

Although I got my Master’s I still wasn’t able to find a job in the field. It seemed I had to relocate to California or New York in order to write. My advisor told I didn’t have to move, but yet, I still wasn’t finding THE job I wanted. I wanted to write for a company or network. But, in all honesty, I wasn’t able to find my niche. It’s that way still. I’m so versatile in my writing that I can’t stick to one genre. But, then again, why should I? I’ve dabbled in journalism, magazines, blogs and even proposals.

Now, it’s 2018 and I’m still not writing  for a company or network. I’m still trying to find my niche. But, in between that I’ve written several books and ghost wrote a few as well. I have written many screenplays, treatments for shows and TV Pilots. It’s all in what I call (the vault), saved on my computer and USB drive. I won’t give up. My dream is to work as a writer of some sort and I will do just that. Monday I start a new job working as a customer solutions specialist. I’m going to be the best employee that I can be until it’s time to work that dream job.

As I was thinking about my topic for today I thought about something DeVon Franklin said his book that I’m reading, ” The Hollywood Commandments A Spiritual Guide To Secular Success.” He said, ” You have to be able to carry the crown, before you can wear one.” It resonated with me because he talked about who he wanted to work in entertainment and every job that he had before he got his dream job and eventually starting his own company, prepared him to be where he is now in his life.  I believe this job I’m starting on Monday will do the same as well. Now, even though I am starting a different job, I still applied for writing jobs everywhere. I am thankful for my new job and I will serve there to the best of my ability. Who knows, I may even get to be a technical writer at my company, if something else doesn’t come along. DeVon states, ” you have to realize that you must start at the bottom in order to make it to the top. ” Or one must pay their dues. Another mentor that I’m following is Evan Michael and Laura Berman Fortgang. Evan said, ” Explore your options and find out what your purpose isn’t or what you like doing. It can only happen with experience.” He talked about trying snow boarding, salsa dancing and really enjoyed it. He said you won’t know what you don’t like to do if you don’t try it. It’s okay to explore because your purpose will find you. The bible says, ” Your gift will make room for you.” I wholeheartedly believe that. Laura said, ” A lot of people have a lot of ambition based on what they don’t want to be in their life i. e  their parents, a statistic.”  Career satisfaction doesn’t come from what you do, it comes from who you get to be while doing it. The beauty is who you get to be is the real you.”  The more I read these books by DeVon Franklin and watch videos like Evan Carmichael and Laura Fortgang, I realize that I am where I am supposed to be right now and I will be a writer because it is what I want to do. Dreams are what you make them to be. Some are born with them knowing what they want to do and some are learned by life’s experience. Is your dream nature or nurture?

Who Are You?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about this. As I’m reading a current book titled, ”  The Hollywood Commandments A Spiritual Guide To Secular Success and watching a few of Evan Carmichael’s videos this has my mind pondering. Who am I? Sure, I am a girl, a writer, a daughter, an aunt and sister, but deep down who am I really? My grandmother once told me that a person in their 30’s should know who they are. Yet, I feel like I am still trying to find myself.  I was recently diagnosed with cirrhosis and it has me thinking a lot about life. Am I happy where my life is right now? The more I dwell I am not. i was watching this video that Evan Carmichael had on finding your purpose. One of the exercises that he mentioned was to make a list of things that you would do if you were a millionaire or only had one week to live. Of course the living part really caught attention.   If you don’t mind, I want to share my list with you guys. If money wasn’t an option and I was living on ” borrowed” time these are what would fulfill my life.

 

1. Become a New York Times Bestselling Author
2. Make one of my movies and have it on a network
3. See one of my Pilots on screen and even picked up
4. Write for TV
5. Live in a warm climate
6. Have the world enjoy my stories on and off screen.
7. Become a mother
8. Work as a Researcher

All of these things have one major thing in common. Can you SEE what it is? If you haven’t guessed it, it’s WRITING. It’s being a writer! Writing is something that I would do all day long and for free and still be happy. But, then I ask myself, why haven’t I been writing? The stress of everyday living has started to take the joy of just jotting things down and finishing projects away from me. I’m not happy with my job, it’s not brining me joy, I’m afraid of my health and dying. So many things that hold me back from really going after the dream. The fear is called THE DEVIL. He’s busy and I have to continue to not be here for it. Ignore  the voice in my head that tells me it won’t happen, it’s a long shot or  think if I will fail. Failure isn’t an option. I choose to live and not just exist, I chose life over death.

There are so many battles that people have in their lives, mostly with their self. We are human. It’s okay to be afraid, but we can’t give in to the fear. We must be risk takers. I was applying for a lot of jobs ( even though I’m starting a new one) where I am able to utilize my writing and research skills in some way, but not where my heart lies. Granted, I know the bills have to be paid and sometimes you have to do what you have to do and not want to do. But, where does that leave me? Sure, I can still write until I make it, I mean, that is what I plan to do. My goal is to not loose focus on the writing when life happens. Life clouds my judgement and it has really been getting to me lately. There are so many projects that I need to finish it’s not even funny. I had made a post on Facebook where I stated I was going to finish writing a film. I re-read what I wrote and then closed the computer. I keep asking myself, ” who are you?” I am a writer who will keep writing until her dreams come true no matter the obstacles. To my readers, who are you?

New Series: Krystol Speaks

Hey readers! I want to add a new series on my blog, called Krystol Speaks. Here is a reader that had a question for me. Please let me know if you think I should continue this series on my blog. Read below!

Tell The Truth, Not What She Wants To Hear

This is not my normal blog post, but I was asked by a reader to give my two cents on something she is going through with a guy. Dating is hard for many people these no matter what age category you fall into. There have been so many horror stories and even successful ones on blogs and magazines of viewers sharing their stories. One of the things that have been complicated with dating is figuring where to meet a guy. Should one do online dating, call chat lines or the old – fashioned way where you dropped a piece of fruit in the aisle of a grocery store hoping for Mr. Right to pick it up. It could be kismet (or fate) as some call it. There are men who claim that they want the same things as you, but have no action behind it. It is starting to become bothersome and a waist of time. The truth will set you free.

 

Alley is a new reader of the Krystol Method and wanted some advice on her current situation with a guy named Ed. Of course, I said that I would help her in any way. She wanted other readers to give advice as well.

Alley’s story: Hey Krystol and readers, I am a journalist and I wanted to rekindle a flame from an ex of mine. He is a great guy, very grounded and stable as far as employment goes. He says he wants to be serious with me and be married and have children one day. This was great news to me because I am ready to settle down as I am in my mid thirties and ready for children. You see, Ed works two jobs as a mortician so his schedule is pretty much around the clock. We text more than we go out and talk on the phone. I am aware of his career, but what about the work life balance? I mentioned to him that I was excited, but worried if he had time for a relationship at all with his schedule. He told me that things would settle down in a while. I told him that it was fine, but I wanted to make sure that this was what he wanted. I stressed that I wanted consistency in our relationship especially if we were talking marriage and children. Then, things switched up. He said it was going to be hard because he did not think that he could be a consistent father. It really threw me for a loop because I am thinking, if he cannot be a consistent father, how can he be a consistent boyfriend or husband? Is Ed married to his work? I really do not know what to do. Krystol, please give me some advice. What are your thoughts?

 

My Advice to Alley: It seems that Ed really cares about you. There needs to be a balance between work and life on his part. Ed could be flipping the script because he is afraid. He may not know what he really wants, but knows he needs to make some moves with you. You guys have stayed friends and in contact this long. It could be for good reason. Sometimes men may tell us what we want to hear just to pacify us or to see if they can really feel that way in time. But, I get the feeling that Ed is a genuine guy. Freedom and moving quickly can be a lot to men who have not been in a relationship for a while. You have to work on being patient if he is whom you truly want. Now, I am not saying to settle. If he does not show you that he wants you when his schedule dies down then by all means keep dating other people. Ed needs to decide what he wants you to be in his life. Start off slow and get to know each other again and see what happens. This could be the start to something great.

Want A Paid Writing Gig?

My fellow writers! I have a GEM for you! I know how we writers want to make a living writing or at least be appreciated for what we have to bring to the table, right? I came across this online paid magazine by networking right here on wordpress. I started to read other’s blogs and BOOM there it was! Yes, I am talking about this banner right here:

This is totally legit! I even signed a contract and met other writers for the magazine as well. This is a new magazine and I must say that I very excited to accept the position of a columnist! My areas of expertise will be for Bookish News and Reviews, Writer’s Life and Fashion & Beauty sections. I could not be more proud to be a part of a great magazine. If you have more questions please do hesitate to email the editor at EDITOR@CONSCIOUSTALKMAG.COM.

My Thoughts:

If you look back on my  What’s On Your Writer’s Bucket List?  back in 2013, I stated that I wanted to write for a company. I did not specify what type of company because it could be anything. I have been a contributing writer for a few magazines, but never having my own column(s). This opportunity is so exciting for me. You have no idea. I want all of my writer friends to join in on this venture with me if you are interested and have the time.

You Are Not Your Struggle

Happy Sunday!

As I was reflecting and thinking about my life,  wondering where I want to be, this topic came to mind. There are many of us who are struggling, and feel like we don’t know where to turn or what to do with our lives. Trust me, I’ve been there and I’m still there.  Struggle doesn’t last always even though we fill it might. This can be affecting your personal, work, or even relationships with friends and family. Don’t allow it to get your down. The rapper T.I states, ” Tough situations don’t last, but tough people do.”   When I read his quote in an interview, I thought, ” He is so right! I am wallowing for nothing.”

The above picture reminds me of where I am and possible a lot of you are. You notice the man with the briefcase as he’s walking. He has a goal, somewhere to be! He’s not looking backward, even through his struggles are following him. He is still pressing on, so why can’t we? What is it about us as people that focus on not being where we want to be instead of appreciating where we are headed? This made me think! Here is what I came up with.

1. Other Influences – We live in a society today where the media is booming with successful people. It is almost like successful people are throwing in our faces that we are not where we want to be. We focus on that and feel miserable. Well, not anymore! If we focus on what is important and just our goals, we will strive forward.
2. Telling Our Goals –  Before you judge me with this one, please hear me out. Now, there is nothing wrong with telling someone who has their best interest for you about your goals. But, when you expose it to everyone, everyone does not have your best interest at hear. I know what you must be thinking, ” Who cares what people think?” Actually, some of us do. We as people need gratification and praises of other people, other wise we would do what we choose without having to tell anyone. My point is everything in our lives is not for everyone. Some people want to see us fail and not succeed sadly.
3. Monitoring Others  – I used to focus on what my friends and other people that I knew was doing. I was envious of their success and them doing things that I wanted to do like travel, write for a major corporation, even down to marriage and children. Focusing on them was taking me off my square for me to be happy. Don’t allow this to happen. Be happy for your friends and associates. Your time will come. When it comes, it maybe even better than what others had going on.

It’s been said by many people that our struggle is what keeps us going. People are often stagnant when they are comfortable. Could their be truth to this? I think it depends on how bad the person wants to be their best selves. The picture above really captivated and resonated with me because the ball in chain is holding him back, but he is moving through this struggle. It’s almost as if his struggle is keeping him coming. Being able to move on says a lot about your character. Don’t sweat the small stuff and I know it maybe hard, but try no to worry about things that are out of your control. Life is too short. Work with your struggle, do not become your struggle.

What’s My Passion?

Happy Friday readers! I know it’s been forever, but I at least hope that you are in good spirits. There was something on my mind and I wanted to talk my friends ( the readers) about it. I need some advice if you will or just someone to hear me out. Today, I was talking to one of my friends about what my passion is. She asked me, ” what would make you successful and what does it mean to you?” The answer that I gave was I don’t know. I am passionate about a lot of things whether it’s reading, writing, doing research, or even being a student in school. I get these ideas for books and different ways to make money and once it’s not successful or a ” quick fix” I give up. Why is that? Oftentimes I go to the next thing and then fail at that too. I ask myself, ” why am I unable to have consistency with what I want to do in my life?” My focus is on many things instead of one thing.

Has that ever  happened to you? If so, how did you find your niche and your way to happiness? This got me thinking about the film, ” The Pursuit of Happyness” starting Will Smith. Will play a father to young boy who lost his way in life with a job. His wife left him with his son and he even went homeless trying to make ends meet. He ended up signing up for a stock broker program and did very well that he became rich. It’s such a passionate story that it even brings me to tears just writing about it. What’s the happiness in my life that I’m trying to pursue? I have a Youtube channel that I enjoy posting videos and I am a writer. Or am I? I haven’t worked on anything in about a month simply because Im trying to get a quick fix of making money since I’m not working. For me, it’s hard to understand the value of yourself if you don’t know what’s valuable. Am I talented? Yes! But, what do I do with the talents that I have? I’m great at writing stories and coming up with things, but once rejection hits, it’s like I shut down. Ghandi said, ” Be the change you want to see in the world”, well, I want to make a difference, but how I am able to if I can’t focus on something long enough to not only see it through, but it continue to try even when its not the quick fix.

Dream Deferred

At times in life, our life shifts into different directions that are out of our control. Today I experienced a shift that totally not only knocked me off my feet, but again the wall so hard that I can’t move. Trying to find a job in the writing and research field is hard enough ( hell, a job period), but finding out that you can no longer get the education to continue to try to be on the way of success is a hard blow. I found out that I can’t finish pursuing my PhD. On this blog, I like to keep it real with my readers and give it to you straight no chaser. I know that set backs and things happen. I also know that it’s not the end of the world and I will be able to finish, but right now, in this moment, I feel like someone has taken my air supply for me to breathe. Due to financial reasons, I am unable to finish school at the moment. I know that many have been where I am, and even more have experienced this same situation, but this is my current reality. The reality that I feel like I’ve failed. Parents raise their children to follow the directions, law and get a good education. I have done all of that and yet it seems like it was for nothing. Being a PhD student has taught me a lot about myself and to endure patience in the inevitable. Even though I only have 3 classes until I start writing my dissertation, I guess patience is something I still have to endure before I am able to go back to school. Ah, the irony!

Not working in a field or job that is tolerable is the worst kind of agony that I don’t wish on anymore. At first it’s like, ” Okay, I’m going to be fine. I have a savings that will hold me for a while.” Then it turns to, ” Holy shit! I’m out of money, what am I going to do?” The unthinkable of not wanting to feel even more like a failure or lame you turn to those parents who taught you how to make it on your own and tell them not only have you failed, but school is deferred. It’s something like a hard blow to the head on the way down to the floor. Now, I’ve never been hit in the head, but I can imagine the pain that comes with it. I know some of you may be thinking, ” It’s not the end of the world, you will go back when you get the funds.” I hope that does happen. Its just an initial shock. I’m still struggling to find work and I’m no longer in school. I have to take a leave of absence for a while just until things change.

This is currently how I’m feeling. Determine what the next step is for my life, if there is a next step to take. Im doing all I can by applying for jobs everywhere on a daily basis. My dream of successful writer is still in the works because I am writing or at least I will be. I opened up a manuscript that I had started and read it. It’s a love story and yet I just keep staring at the chapter 3 mark. We will not even go there in the relationship department. Granted, I want to be happy and have a successful relationship that will lead to marriage, but right now I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I just keep asking myself, ” Why do good people get the shittiest hands in life?” I understand the concept of life happening and things are never perfect, but it’s like every time you turn around it’s always something. Well, I think I’m done turning. What can happen if I stand still? Oh yea, nothing, lol. At least if I’m turning, I’m moving, right? Prayer has been my best friend and my journal has been my right hand. In due time I will have a good job and school will resume. The dream is not put off, it’s just a dream deferred.

Promoting My Latest Book

I had a story to tell and I was told to tell this story. So, here it goes! I noticed that my writing style was shifting about 4 years ago. I was reading more Stephen King and different psychological thriller books. Before you knew it, I was hooked! Yes, I had to try my hand  at another psychological thriller. Trapped is a book that will take you to a different place in life. We met Candice who  is a girl trying to live her life and want the best of it. Her parents  look like the part, but at home, it’s a different story. Being an only child, most kids needs attention or someone to play with. Candice had that in her best friend Damon. At home, things were SO rocky because Candice was dealing with a great deal of physical and emotional abuse that it took her emotions to a different place. Have you ever in life wanted bad things to stop so that good can come in and do damage in the best way?  Candice archives just that! Well, sort of.

I really enjoyed writing Trapped because I was able to have a different story to tell. In life we want to win so bad that we will do anything to make it happen. At times I was Candice. I know what’s it like to want love from someone and they don’t see your existence or choose to not go there for whatever reason. But, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Readers who love the written word, if you are into psychological thrillers, give this one a try.

Synopsis:

Nineteen years old, psychology major, Candice Hertz worked hard on her studies. After losing her father to cancer, Candice decides therapy would help with her loss. The therapy session turned into a nightmare. While reliving her past, Candice recalls the traumatic experience of being physically abused by her father at age twelve. Unable to deal with the memories, Danielle, another memory appears and become who Candice can’t. Danielle becomes Candice’s vehicle for revenge on those who caused her pain. Will Candice be cured from Multiple Personality Disorder or will she remain trapped with Danielle forever.

Pages: 314 pages

Copies: Paperback and Kindle

About The Author:

Krystol Diggs, the award winning published author & writer for multiple news & magazine outlets, has captured the attention of readers around the world with her thrilling & captivating stories of love, loss, and life. Krystol, of The Krystol Meth(od) has written numerous books & screenplays, including “Through Her Eyes”, her first book published in 2008, and “If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It”, a screenplay that won 2nd place in the Buffalo Niagara Film Festival Screenwriting Competition in 2014. You can find Krystol in 2015 getting her Ph.D in Educational Psychology at Walden University, highlighting as a Reporter for CNN iReport and releasing another published book titled “Trapped” and adapting a property for the producer of the film ” I DO, I DID”, Cherie Johnson.

Purchase:

https://www.amazon.com/Trapped-Krystol/dp/1503350681/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1486353848&sr=8-2&keywords=Krystol