Setting Priorities When It Comes To Your Dreams

Happy Sunday, Readers!

There comes a time in your life when you must say enough is enough. My grandmother used to always say, ” Eventually you will get tired.” She said that for a lot of things and I never knew what she meant. It seemed like that statement went with every reference of life from being unhappy, not liking to do certain tasks, etc. As I was driving today thinking about another motivational video I watched, it hit me. My grandmother meant that eventually I would be tired of not being my happiest or truest self whether it involves other people or not. It got me thinking about my topics as of like dreams, success and being your best self.  I have decided that I am tired of living for others. For example,  some people think you should live your life in a way is THEIR norm. Work a normal job, get paid a normal paycheck and live a normal life. But, makes your normal different from someone else’s? Your normal is probably totally different from mine. Some people are content and happy working with a company for 30+ years, owning their home and retiring. This is one way that society has taught us to live. But, for me, what’s normal to society isn’t for me. I get bored easily ( hence the many jobs I’ve had), but I feel like this I won’t know what I like or don’t like if I don’t explore and try new things.

I’ve come to the conclusion where I am tired of society’s opinion for my life through other people. I’ve said all week that I want to be a writer. I’m talented in it, it’s something I would do for free and still be happy with it. I enjoy writing in many different genres ,which not only keeps me out of a bubble, but I’m versatile as well. I learn to write in different areas so I can adapt to change as it comes with writing. When it comes to my life, I have to check myself and get MY priorities in order. The thoughts and opinions of other people no longer matter. I no longer seek advice from others who don’t have my same aspirations at heart. Why? They have no clue the drive and determination I have to really make it. You can have some of the best people in your life that you love and love you to an extent become your biggest downfall. We as people seek validation ( why I have no clue), but we do and we want others to tell us what’s right or wrong, or what would or wouldn’t they do. Fuck that shit! I can’t ask questions like that anymore because they aren’t me and I am not them. Our mindsets are totally different. My mother just told me today, ” If you listen to what people say, you will never go anywhere or do anything.” That advice was paramount because it was so on time for where I’m headed in life and where I am now on my new journey to being my best self and living my dreams. I know you must be asking, just what are these alleged priorities?

1. Keep God First
2. Take every job position as a learning experience, which will prepare me for my writing job
3. Continue to study the craft of writing and READ as many books, articles, and blogs as I can
4. Continue applying for ALL writing jobs until the perfect one happens.
5. Remain Humble. I have to carry the crown before I wear it by paying my dues and starting from the bottom if I have to.
6. Write everyday no matter what.
7. Become 2 Corinthians 13

To Thine Own Self Be True 

New Series: Krystol Speaks

Hey readers! I want to add a new series on my blog, called Krystol Speaks. Here is a reader that had a question for me. Please let me know if you think I should continue this series on my blog. Read below!

Tell The Truth, Not What She Wants To Hear

This is not my normal blog post, but I was asked by a reader to give my two cents on something she is going through with a guy. Dating is hard for many people these no matter what age category you fall into. There have been so many horror stories and even successful ones on blogs and magazines of viewers sharing their stories. One of the things that have been complicated with dating is figuring where to meet a guy. Should one do online dating, call chat lines or the old – fashioned way where you dropped a piece of fruit in the aisle of a grocery store hoping for Mr. Right to pick it up. It could be kismet (or fate) as some call it. There are men who claim that they want the same things as you, but have no action behind it. It is starting to become bothersome and a waist of time. The truth will set you free.

 

Alley is a new reader of the Krystol Method and wanted some advice on her current situation with a guy named Ed. Of course, I said that I would help her in any way. She wanted other readers to give advice as well.

Alley’s story: Hey Krystol and readers, I am a journalist and I wanted to rekindle a flame from an ex of mine. He is a great guy, very grounded and stable as far as employment goes. He says he wants to be serious with me and be married and have children one day. This was great news to me because I am ready to settle down as I am in my mid thirties and ready for children. You see, Ed works two jobs as a mortician so his schedule is pretty much around the clock. We text more than we go out and talk on the phone. I am aware of his career, but what about the work life balance? I mentioned to him that I was excited, but worried if he had time for a relationship at all with his schedule. He told me that things would settle down in a while. I told him that it was fine, but I wanted to make sure that this was what he wanted. I stressed that I wanted consistency in our relationship especially if we were talking marriage and children. Then, things switched up. He said it was going to be hard because he did not think that he could be a consistent father. It really threw me for a loop because I am thinking, if he cannot be a consistent father, how can he be a consistent boyfriend or husband? Is Ed married to his work? I really do not know what to do. Krystol, please give me some advice. What are your thoughts?

 

My Advice to Alley: It seems that Ed really cares about you. There needs to be a balance between work and life on his part. Ed could be flipping the script because he is afraid. He may not know what he really wants, but knows he needs to make some moves with you. You guys have stayed friends and in contact this long. It could be for good reason. Sometimes men may tell us what we want to hear just to pacify us or to see if they can really feel that way in time. But, I get the feeling that Ed is a genuine guy. Freedom and moving quickly can be a lot to men who have not been in a relationship for a while. You have to work on being patient if he is whom you truly want. Now, I am not saying to settle. If he does not show you that he wants you when his schedule dies down then by all means keep dating other people. Ed needs to decide what he wants you to be in his life. Start off slow and get to know each other again and see what happens. This could be the start to something great.

Excerpt: I’m Your Angel By Krystol

 

Coming in August of  2017

Here is an (unedited except)  of my next project. Feel free to give feedback in the comments!

 

“ Angel! I can’t do this with you right now.” I yelled as he was driving through old Baltimore Pike.

“ Miracle, I told you that I was sorry. How many times are you going to continue to punish me?” He yelled back.

The snow was coming down hard and he was speeding. I was scared and my heart started to panic.

“ You had her pussy smell all over you!” I barked back.

“ Mamita, I don’t want us to get a divorce. I am going to get help.” He said.

“ Angel, you had the last time. Just tell me how many more did you fuck?”

“ Miracle, it was just the two times and that was it. I love you and I’m committed to you.” He retorted.

“ How are you committed to me when you fucking cheated twice. We aren’t in high school anymore, Angel.”

I started to cry.

He hated when I cried.

We stopped at a red light and I looked out the window at the Christmas lights. Christtmas was my favorite holiday of the year.

“ Look. I love you. We are not getting divorced. This marriage is going to work and it’s going to last. We had vows, Miracle.”

“ Vows that you broke. Just tell me why? Is it because I work so much?”

“ No. Baby.”

He sighed.

“ She came on to me in the office. I told her I was happily married. We had the Christmas party last year and both were too drunk to drive. She kissed me. I called her Miracle and she played along with it.”

Tears started to roll my down my eyes even harder.

“ Since you were drunk the first time, how the fuck did it happen again?”

This go round I was furious. I wanted to grab the wheel and make him feel the same pain that I am, but I couldn’t kill us.

“ Miracle. Please calm down. I don’t want your asthma to act up.” He said trying to hold my hand.

“ Fuck you and your damn asthma.” I yelled.

“ Please stop crying.” He said as tears started to stream down his eyes.

“ We don’t need this shit.” I said.

“ Who the fuck is we?”

Cars started to pile up behind us and were blowing the horn.

“ Angel, I’m pregnant!”

Before I could say anything he stared at me and his foot hit the gas on the car.

“ Angel, look out!” I screamed.

I could hear the crash, but after that it all went black.

***

Stephen King ( my favorite author)

Thoughts and Tips: I wrote this prelude with the thought of NEEDING a dramatic beginning in order to grab my readers attention. I hope I did a good job. My style of writing is to always have a problem with a solution. I like to write about things that people can relate. My love is YA then Adult or New Adult as some readers may say. The names Miracle and Angel came to me because I used to have a big crush on someone and I always called him my angel. He never knew that, but it always stuck with me. I look forward to see what Angel and Miracle are going to become. Do you?

 

Happy New Year

It is finally 2017 and I must say that I am ready for the new year! I am working on myself and trying to change my mindset from negative to positive. Granted, Rome was not built in a day, so let’s just see how this goes. A few people asked me what my resolution was. Usually I’d say to loose weight or get better with finances. This will still happen, but I am ready for love. If you have been following my blog long, you know the mishaps that I have had with this endeavor already, lol. I will say that it has been a journey. Well, this year I hope to find the real thing and it lasts.  I hope that whatever your resolution is that you achieve it and be happy!

 

So tell me what is your new years resolution and what are you doing to achieve it?

My Goals For 2017

As the year of 2016 comes to a close, I am ready focusing on the new year. Yes, 2017 baby! There is so much that I want to do. As I reflect, I realize that I have grown a lot. But, for the upcoming year I want to continue that growth in all areas of my life. So, here is my list!

 

2017 Goals

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Stay Positive:  I have had a negative mindset about a lot of things for a long time. It can be related to work, school or even dating.Oftentimes I have to tell myself that it is okay to be positive even though there has been so much negativity in your life. This also goes with friendships. I want to make more friends. Since high school, a lot of people have grown up and live their lives. Most of the time I’m a loner, but I want to make friends and go out.

2. Be Realistic:  This really goes with money. I have so many things that I want to do in life that I focus on trying to pay or provide for everything I want. I am not rich or well off yet. Budgeting will be a MAJOR THING for the new year.

3. Get Better With Money: I think this may be on everyone’s list. But, for me I really need to get it together. I want to buy a house one day and saving is so essential.

4. Be Successful In My Business: I stated my own publishing company from home five years ago. In the beginning things were going great. Then, it went down hill. With a new plan and marketing, I recently opened back up for business. This time around I want to be successful with it. I know that it will take time to re-build my clientele, but it will happen.

5. Get My Driver’s License: Yes, this is a goal. I currently have my learner’s permit. It killed me to have to reschedule my driving test because I did not have a car to take the test. This time around I am going to have a car and take it.

6. Get Into Church: I have been praying a lot more this year and God has been fulfilling all of my needs. My fear is that the church will be full of drama and I won’t enjoy it. Pray more and allow God into my life during the good and bad times.

7. Date: Dating is an ongoing thing for me. I don’t get out too much because I don’t drive. But, I will start to put myself out there and actually try. I have a few online profiles, but have not had much luck with men. I either attract the ones with no ambition or they are just not in my preference of age range. God will bring the right one along. I would love to meet someone who is looking for a long term relationship and wants marriage with a family.

8. School: I will continue to excel in school. Studying for a PhD is not easy at all. As of right now I have 4 classes left and I want to finish and then write my dissertation. I will get this done.

9. Develop Structure: I am always all over the place. I need to focus on following one task at a time. How do I achieve such a thing? It seems really hard when I get so excited about so many things like writing projects, reading books, and other things that go on in my life. But, I will do better.

10. Focus On Me: I know that this might sound really weird, but all my life I have dedicated it to pleasing and saying yes to everyone else accept myself. If my parents need money or me to do something, I do it, a friend needs me to write something for them, I do it. This year is about me getting healthy, wiser, and stronger. I want to be happy and be the best me that I can be.

I know that these goals are not your normal goal like loose 30 pounds or buy a car. I want to do all of those things as well, but that is going to be my lifestyle, not a goal. In order to be happy or successful in anything I first have to develop the mindset of having faith. Putting priority in front of wants. Yes, I want to buy a book or spend money on food, but the bigger picture for me is to be able to make rent and save money. This is the year for me to be frugal in my life, my thoughts, my money, my sanity and my faith. It’s early, but I will say it now, Happy New Year. May God continue to bless you and the universe gives you what your heart desires. Your gifts will make room for what you want for your life. Be blessed guys!

Krystol

 

 

Reflection

It’s the last day of 2014….did you do all that you wanted? 

Happy Wednesday everyone! It’s the last of the year! Man, I can’t believe it. My year has been filled with joy, sadness, and a new way of living. Let’s recap just a little bit. So, I was living in Charlotte, NC and moved back home to Delaware in Sept of 2013. I was depressed. I didn’t want to come back home feeling like a failure. I had just graduated with my MFA in Creative Writing. The plan of leaving home was to never come back–at least to live. Working  at Rite-Aid as a Shift Supervisor making only $9 an hour and I was on the schedule for 2 days a week. My other job had closed for the year. So, I had to do what any grown adult dreads, move back home. I moved in with my father and was now confined to a bedroom. No more of my own kitchen, bathroom, and privacy, I was now sharing a house. I said to myself, ” Ok, Krystol, either you make the best of it or be depressed about it. I chose to be depressed just a little more. I stayed in my room and blogged daily. Poor subscribers you must have thought I was on the verge of suicide. I was exhausted mentally. Applying for job after job, to go on interviews and not get anything. Life has a way of bringing out the best and worst in you at the same time. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do with my life. Here I was 29, single, no children, jobless, and felt so disconnected from the world it wasn’t funny. This is when I decided to go to school for my PhD while still job hunting. I got in to one of the best Ivy league colleges, Walden University. I decided to take General Research Psychology. I applied, wrote my essay, and twiddled my thumbs for a week to see if I’d get in. At this point, I felt like I was 18 years old waiting to see if I had gotten into school. I got in! Thank God and I had an interview three weeks later for an Account Manager position.  I got the job. Fulltime with benefits! The pay isn’t what I’m worth, but hey, it will pay my rent every month. Yes, I moved out of my dad’s house and got my own place! I’m so excited. Check it out.

My fireplace in my bedroom.

I’m loving my new bed!!

My PhD Journey….Residency 1 2014

I can’t tell you how glad I am to be on this journey of getting a PhD! Don’t get me wrong, the work is very intense, but it’s so rewarding none the less. I’m learning so much about myself. This past week I went to my first residency ( four altogether) and I met the faculty of my school. I even made new friends and networked. It was an amazing experience! It was in National Harbor, Maryland. The experience was so inspiring that it has motivated me in my life overall, not just to get my PhD. I have met so many people in my discipline and specialization. You know I networked my behind off! But, there was one person who bought it all home for me, that’s the keynote speaker, Dr. Yvonne Thornton. Dr. Thornton told her the story of her father who worked 3 jobs to make sure that all 6 of his daughters became doctors. 5 out of 6 did become doctors, but not all medical doctors. While she was in college during the 70’s Dr. Thornton, battled prejudice and racism. But, she didn’t let that stop her. She was featured on Oprah and has met the 1st family the Obama’s.

Dr. Yvonne Thornton and I.

My co-hort Sandra and I.

My new PhD friends! We had a great time!

My friend Allison and I with Fionna.

End of the year advice

Let me tell you, no matter where life takes you whether it’s up or down, don’t give up. Who knew that I would be a PhD student? Life is a journey  and enjoy it as you make it to every destination throughout your life. Don’t let the new year make you want to change, but hey, if that’s what it takes, then go for it. Do something now. Make that bucket list and achieve it! Network and make those great connections, no matter if you are a student or not. No one will stop you from your dreams,but you! Keep moving, because life stops for no one. We only have one life to live, live it to the fullest. And always, always, keep smiling!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!! 

Do you believe in love and the promise that it gives?

Hey Readers!! A strange twist has come into the mix with your girl…

I know my posts have been blah a little lately, but I’m in a better mood. I’ve been so busy thinking about my life and it’s direction I want for it. I always wonder about will I have kids and getting married and all that jazz. But, time will tell the story about that. But, I met someone. Well, I’ve known him for a long time and we still like each other. We never dated. You know how people say, ” the one that I got away?” I don’t know if he is the one that i got away, but I do like him.

So…

I guess time will tell the story. I don’t want to get my hopes up or get all excited about Fred ( that’s what we are going to call him). I like Fred, but we have a lot of growing and learning to do with each other. It’s literally new, whatever it shall be. Who knows, we may just even end up as friends. If that’s the case, I’m okay with that. But, I’ve always liked Fred and for some reason the it just never happened. Now, when I spoke to him again he admitted to always wanting to be with me. For someone that’s been single for 5 years, my first reaction was to…

Yes, run hit ghost, get the hell out of dodge! Let’s face it, the thought of dating and even thinking about love is the most scariest thing after it hasn’t happened in almost a decade. LOL…no, but I’m learning more about myself everyday and I know what I will and won’t settle for. Although we were kids, I really liked Fred and always wanted to date him. But, I’m older and wiser now. I had a chance to make my foolish mistakes and witness what love wasn’t, now I want the chance to know what it is. Whether it’s with Fred or someone else.

Slow and Steady wins the race…

At this rate, i’m moving slow as molasses. I don’t want to get my hopes up for a let down so as of now I’m just going to enjoy the moment of being wanted. Plus, I still have some things to work on myself like finding stable employment. Don’t get me wrong, being a  freelance writer is all good, but it’s not stable. So, that’s my focus as well. But, my friend told me today, ” He may help sort things out in your life.” I chuckled, but who knows. I even expressed to Fred that I was giving up on love, or at least I thought I was. His response was, ” Don’t give up.” I said, ” I won’t give up unless there is a reason for me not to.” I couldn’t help but smile on the other end of the computer. He added, ” I might can help with that. Let that guard down.” When he said that it dawned on me that i do have a guard, but I’m not ready to let it down. Not for a while until actions come into play of words.

It’s so silly but…

I can’t stop smiling and thinking about him. How high school right? I know it seems silly, but it’s just nice to like someone again even if it does just end up being a crush.

In the last few days I had been down about life not going my way. Then Fred hit me up and now I’ve got a little pep in the step. But….

In my ” Nina Voice.” Don’t get all geeked up, this is not a love thing, we are just kicking it.”  If you don’t know that line I suggest you watch ” Love Jones” my all time favorite movie.

But, as my grandmother always said, ” Time will tell the story.”

 

An American Tragedy

 

 

It was February 26, 2012 when the Martin family would be forever changed. Seventeen year old Trayvon Martin was shot and killed by a man who was just supposed to be watching the neighborhood.

 

This story hit worldwide as the people of America supported the Martin family by coming together in a show of solidarity by the wearing of hooded sweatshirts (hoodies). It was reported that the gray hoody that young Mr. Martin was wearing the night that he was killed made him suspicious in the eyes of the man who would be his killer, George Zimmerman. Mr. Zimmerman claimed self-defense using Florida’s Stand Your Ground law as a excuse. Evidence showed that the youth only had a can of Arizona Iced tea and a bag of skittles on his person.

 

Today, July 13, 2013, the world would be forever changed yet again. Mr. Zimmerman was found not guilty for the killing of Mr. Martin. This news has saddened me and my heart goes out to the Martin Family. I will be praying for them.

I’m sure to the world it seems like this young adult had been murdered all over again. In my opinion justice has not been served. The jury was comprised of six women, five of whom are married with children and one woman who was not.

For this country to be considered the land of the free, in this instance, that certainly does not ring true. With evidence proving Mr. Zimmereman’s guilt, he was still found innocent. In my opinion had the roles been reversed Mr. Martin would face either second degree murder or the lesser sentence of manslaughter. Either way he would have been found guilty of, if nothing else, being a young black man in America.

As I continued to watch the trial, just as many of us have, Mr. Zimmerman’s face showed no sign of remorse. When the verdict was read, he had a smile on his face. This is terrible. I can only imagine the outrage that the world and the Martin family are experiencing right now. This is supposed to be America the beautiful, the land of free, and the home of the brave, correct? Just not in Florida, apparently. There were several witnesses that took the stand stating that Mr. Martin yelled for help, as well as Trayvon Martin’s friend who witnessed most of the ordeal over the phone. Still, the final verdict was Not Guilty?

American hearts are breaking tonight at the unfairness of the outcome of this trial. This ongoing travesty of justice that the Martin family had to relive over and over for the past year has ended without a proper or fair ending to this trial. In my opinion, this isn’t right. Justice should have been served, justly. It’s sad that the race card is being thrown around in this situation, but some things are what they are. Things like the truth, for instance. In an unrelated case in Florida, a mother, was also found not guilty for the killing of her daughter. Mr. Zimmerman was found not guilty for the killing of Mr. Martin and Mr. Michael Vick was found guilty of promoting dog fights. What has this world come to?

 

Again, my heart goes out to the Martin family. I pray that they will able to find peace at some point. America will be praying with you and for you. If there is any justice in this mockery of justice in my opinion, it is that now Mr. Zimmerman will be sharing Trayvon Martin’s last emotion forever, fear.