Stop Making Excuses

As I sit home in my bed and watch Set It Up starring Lucy Lui and Taye Diggs ( potential relative), the story gave me the motivation to come back to you. As soon as I started to type with my acrylic nails, my gray and white assistant of a cat decided to wake up. Apparently he missed the typing on the laptop as well. The film is about a girl who is an assistant, but dreams of being a writer. Well, it still my dream, too. To write. I can’t be a writer if i am not writing. Is that writing 101 or .01? Sure i’ve got a Masters in writing and have written books, but what has the blockage so heavy? It’s the fear of being successful and not so successful at the same damn time. Excuse my language but then again, no don’t excuse it. I work in finance, but the written word needs me. I am one of those people who believe that everything happens for a reason, even this moment of coming to my eighth epiphany that I am supposed to write for a living. But, how do I earn money doing just that? There are no excuses anymore.

It’s time to dedicate my time into making this talent work for me. In advance I’m appreciative of those who take the time to read my blogs and leave a comment no matter how sporadic my posts are. Thanks, Mom, lol! So, I have about four books that I need to finish writing and I am going to find time to write them. This is where I want to be. Tapping the keys and writing sentences that make sense. Now that I am no longer making excuses, what are you going to do or have an interest in? There is still time for all of us to excel and become great at what ever our heart desires. Lets put in the work and get it done. As it gets hard or life gets in the way we have to continue to follow what our dreams are. We’ve got this! You’ve got this!

Declutter Your Life

Happy Saturday! Tweety bird is one of my favorites! I love her bubbly attitude and outlook on life. She does not have a care in the world and does not need valdiation from anyone. We need to be more like tweety bird! Now that we have lots of down time and it is the spring time, have you thought about spring cleaning? Sure, it’s fun to get organized and get rid of the things you don’t want in the home. They have gotten old and we don’t utilize them anymore.  Once we complete this task, we are refreshed, happier and have space for important things, right? Why don’t we do this with our life’?

How many of you have numbers stored in your phone to people you don’t talk to? If you do talk to them it is because they need something from you be it money, your time or for them to drop their emotional baggage on you so that they can feel better? Or how many of you put up with things and people because you feel it is the right thing to do but it does not add any value to your life but it adds more pressure and stress? Those people and situations don’t belong in your life. Declutter and do a brain dump. I will give you an example, I know a lot of people and used to call them friends. I have been home sick with pnemonia and am quarentined because I am high risk. Now, to those I don’t talk to on a regular or everyday basis won’t know this information, right? However, we are still in a crisis. Out of the 85 contacts in my phone, I only talk to 5 of them daily and 2 out of the 5 are my parents. So, 3 people have called and checked on me to see if I’m just okay. Of course the phone works both ways, but those 80 people I have not spoken to in at least a year. But, when they need to brain dump or ask me for something, my phone rings. Oppurtunists are not good for the soul. Learn the difference between someone actually caring to just needing you for the moment. Once the moment is gone so are they.   This doesn’t just go for friends or family, but situations in life, too. If you are a people pleaser say no. Your mental space and health is more important than to make sure others are okay when they can find another solution to THEIR problem because let’s face it, when in crisis everyone comes to you,  but when you are in crisis who do you have to turn to? The same people that come to you will suddendly make it their business to be unavailable. Declutter your life so you can have the mental space to live free and be happy because happiness is something you create, not anyone else.

Be Productive During This Time

Happy Friday! For those that are working, I know you are excited that this day has come. To those who are home with pay or just at home, this blog is for you. I go back to work on Monday ( from home), but I am a little mad at myself that I wasted 2 whole days watching YouTube and sleeping, lol. Granted I am getting over being sick, but I could have more productive. How, you ask? Well, I have so many books that I need to finish writing and finish reading.  If you read yesterday’s blog, you know I want to blog every day! I’m proud to have stuck to day 2 of consistency.  Nonetheless, my point is to take the time to do some things that you didn’t have time to do because you were working.

If you wanted to start a business, now is your chance! Want to write that book that you’ve been putting off? Do that to. We can’t allow this situation to put fear in us from continued living. I’m going to continue writing and figure out how I can be paid to do just that as a side hustle. Learning is re-learning. Always remain teachable  and the sky is the limit. Taking action steps to do the unthinkable shows not only character, but that you don’t give up. Tell me, what is one thing that you enjoy doing that you would do it for free if it still brings you joy? Whatever that is, figure out how to bring in income doing just that. It just maybe your calling. I know I am. Be Productive. Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

The Waiting Game With Queries

Happy Wednesday! I hope all is well on you end. As for me, I am learning patience in more ways than one. Let’s see, I will say that my mind is on an overload from querying so many agents. Granted, agents look so many queries everyday, but for some reason I have in my mind that they are supposed to respond to me as soon as I send the e-mail. LOL! This is silly I know. I am learning patience, but it is getting hard.

I have read and watching many videos on how to pass the time when waiting to hear back from agents. Thus far, I have queried about 60 agents and have gotten 8 rejections. The ball can still be in my court, so I have not given up hope yet. It is still alive. Since I have started this process of traditional publishing, my mind has not been on writing anything but my blogs here and my article for Conscious Talk Magazine ( btw, go subscribe at conscioustalkmag.com). I am still job hunting like crazy so I am trying to stay occupied. How can you when you read books that are NYT’s Best Sellers and know that pieces or a few pages of your works is out there for agents to read and determine if I have a best seller too? So, this is what I have come up with:

1. Meditation – Relieve some of the anxiety that I am feeling.
2. Pray – Prayer changes EVERYTHING!
3. Read – This is a given. You can not be a writer if you are not a reader first. ~ Stephen King
4. Talk To Writer Friends – I do not have many writer friends that I talk to often so I will have to get some new ones on twitter.
5. Breathe – This is a given.

 

Lately, to pass the time I have been thinking a lot about my life thus now and where I want to be in the next five years both personally and professionally. My goal is to be a New York Time’s Best Seller and continue to write books while I change the world with my words. I will still work a day time job as well ( preferably with writing) or helping in some capacity whether it is through research, etc.

 

Can You Be Your Own Support System?

Happy Thursday!

We go through many things in our life where we need and desire support from others. But, when we are able to gain that support from our friends and loved ones, are we able to seek it in ourselves? Yes! It is called determination and motivation. Now, with my writing career, I am sure that there are MANY people who disapprove of my career path. In turn that is okay, but when you have people like that, it is time to rid of toxic waste.  In my opinion being a writer is a lonely world until your readers support your work. In my time as a writer, I have seen some great reviews and even some bad ones. I took a step back and re-assessed the bad reviews. I take into consideration what the readers have to say. My work may look great in my eyes, but the readers are the real judges.

With that being said, I motivate myself often to make the next book or writing endeavor better than the last one. I wanted to make sure that my words were relatable and valid for anyone who even cracked a page or clicked to see my work. My motivation and determination for myself has to be strong because everyone does not see my dream the way that I do. Sure, you will get discouraged when rejection happens, but use that rejection for fuel to continue to work on your craft and be the best writer that you can be. One of my goals this year was to keep my blog updated and relevant. There were times where I did not wrote for months and I saw the change in that versus now to me writing on a daily basis. I appreciate your support with my blog.  You liking my blog posts makes me feel good about the posts that I will continue to have.  A year ago, I did a vision board with my previous position and I look at it every day now just to motivate and remind myself that I am destined for greatness. Now, I feel like I have to keep my work to myself in a way and not tell everyone my dreams because I will not get the support that I give myself.

I do have a journal with goals in it. I never look at it. In my mind, I know what I achieve to do. Every time I achieve a new thing, I go back to my goals journal and see how close or far I came to achieving them. Thus far, I am on track because I am motivating myself. Currently, I am motivated and determined to finish this novel for NanoWriMo way before the end of the July. I really believe that this book is going to put me on the map. Never allow anyone to tell you that you can not or deter you from your dreams.

Are You Optimistic Enough?

Happy Monday! Let’s Be Optimistic and Make It Great!

But, can we really, you know, do it? Life can get us down, but it is up to us, to keep it together. Now, I am living witness of not being optimistic the last few months. It brings me to shame to, because I’m a Sagittarius and being optimistic is one our main traits. I used to be very optimistic until life started to show me that everything that glittered was not gold. I mean, I wanted it to be gold, well, I would rather that it was. But, let’s face it, the world does not work our way, which leads me to being more optimistic about life.

We often focus on the things that happen and are not working in our lives that we forget how blessed we truly are. Not to get all religious on you, but the bible says, ” When you are grateful for little, he will bless you with more.” This has been my new approach of late, being happy where I am. I have a roof over my head and food in my mouth. Things will get better in time.

Being More Optimistic

The term optimistic means, ” hopeful and feeling confident for the future”.  Understand that you are not your circumstances or your struggle.  This also has to do with our mindset as well. Check out my post about having a positive mindset. Here are some ways that you can work on your optimism. I got some help from Wiki on how to be optimistic.
1. Recognize the good and bad in your life and examine how you’ve been affected by each. Optimism doesn’t mean you have to feel “happy” all the time. In fact, trying to force feelings of happiness during potentially traumatic experiences can be unhealthy.  Instead, attune yourself to the full range of emotions in your life, accepting that the negative as well as positive feelings are a natural part of human experience. Trying to repress a certain type of emotion can cause severe emotional distress. Not focusing more on one type of emotion than the other can actually help you become more adaptive and proactive in future unexpected situations. This will increase your ability to be optimistic and resilient in the face of uncertainty.
Negative feelings can become a conditioned habit over time. Avoid blaming yourself for negative emotions and associations. Blame is unhelpful because it doesn’t look forward to how you can grow; it looks backward at what has already happened.
Instead, focus on being mindful of when these negative emotions occur. A journal could help you do this. Write down when you experience negative feelings or thoughts, then examine their contexts and explore alternative ways of responding to them.
For example, imagine that someone cuts you off in traffic. You respond by feeling angry, honking your horn, and perhaps yelling at the driver even though s/he can’t hear you. You could write in your journal what happened, how it made you feel, and what your immediate response was. Don’t judge yourself as “right” or “wrong,” just write down what happened.
Next, take a step back and think about what you’ve written. Was your response in accordance with your values and the type of person you want to be? If not, what could you have done differently? What do you think you were really responding to? For example, perhaps you weren’t really angry at the driver; maybe you had a stressful day and allowed your stress to explode on that one person.
Look forward when you write these entries. Don’t use them just as a place to wallow in negative feelings. Think about what you can learn from the experience. What can you use to grow as a person? Can you use this experience to inform other experiences? If you encounter a similar situation next time, how might you respond in a way that is in line with your values? For example, perhaps realizing that you responded with anger because of your stressful day could help you realize that everyone makes mistakes and encourage you to feel more empathetic with other people the next time someone shows anger toward you. Having a pre-existing idea of how you want to respond to negative situations can also help you in the tough moments.

2. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a key component of optimism because it encourages you to focus on acknowledging your emotions in the moment without judging them. Often, negative reactions arise when we try to struggle against our feelings, or when we allow ourselves to become so blinded by our emotions that we forget that we can control how we respond to them.  Focusing on your breathing, accepting your body and your feelings, and learning from your emotions rather than denying them can help you become comfortable with yourself, which is important when those negative emotions arise.
Mindfulness meditation has been shown by many studies to help with feelings of anxiety and depression. It can actually reprogram the way your body responds to stress.
Look for mindfulness meditation classes in your community. You can also find guided meditations online, such as at the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center[16] or BuddhaNet  (And of course, there are several great tutorials on Wikihow.)
You don’t have to commit a huge amount of time to meditation to see its effects. Just a few minutes a day can help you become more aware and accepting of your emotions.[18]

3. Identify whether your inner monologue is an optimist or a pessimist. Our inner monologue is a great indicator of whether we naturally take a positive or negative outlook on life. Pay attention to your inner monologue over the course of a day and see if any of the following forms of negative self-talk (that is, your inner monologue) are appearing regularly:
Magnifying the negative aspects of a situation and filtering out all of the positive ones.
Automatically blaming yourself for any negative situation or event.
Anticipating the worst in any given situation. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.
You see things only as good or bad (also known as polarization). In your eyes, there is no middle ground.

4. Look for the positives in your life. It’s important to re-orient your inner monologue to focus on the positive aspects of both you as an individual and the world around you. Although positive thinking is only one of the steps towards becoming a true optimist, the effects of positive thinking for both your body and mind can be significant, such as:
Increased life span
Lower rates of depression
Lower levels of distress
Improved immune system
Better psychological and physical well-being
Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

Some of these situations I witness first hand, especially depression. But, now I have a renewed mindset and better control of knowing I can’t worry about things out of my control. Daily, it is good to speak positive affirmations and surround yourself with positive people. I hope that these tips have helped you a lot as it has for me.

The Writing Struggle

Good afternoon, readers! I have to keep telling myself that life is beautiful. It is because I am alive and well. But lately, I have been wondering what has been holding me back with writing? Then it dawned on me, I am not focused on writing. I have so many stories that I want to tell that I can not focus. I have been all over the place with everything else like job hunting, contributing more to my youtube channel and trying to figure out my life. Yea, I know. I would think by now since I am 31 that I would have my life together, but I don’t.

My life coach has been helping me a great deal of keeping my mindset focused, but as they say, ” the proof is in the pudding”.  It is time for me to get the fingers on the keyboards and make magic. So, in order to give myself more motivation, this is what I am working on.

I need some help from my great readers! Please post motivation and words of encouragement so I can finish writing this book, lol. Knowing that people are excited about my work helps me keep going. After all I am a writer. Writing is what I am going to be doing!

Camp NanoWriMo: Back at it!

Good evening, readers! I hope everyone is having a great evening and are having fun watching their shows. I don’t have cable, so I won’t be watching Empire tonight. But, I will catch it tomorrow on Youtube, I’m sure. Anyway. I wanted to make a post letting you guys know that I am getting back into writing! Yes, you heard it right. NanoWriMo starts on Friday and I am super excited. This was just the motivation that I needed to finish this novel I’m working on.

What novel?

Well, you see I am writing a novel called Trapped. I may have posted about it in another blog post, but I am determined to finish it. I have a cover done already, but I am going to try and get it traditionally published. The cover I may have my graphic designer change the title and have it be something else. Who knows. So, how am I going to write a full novel, plus work full-time and be a full-time Ph.D. student. This task is not going to be easy, but I am going to work it out and continue to succeed.

Are you doing Camp NanoWriMo? If so, leave your username so I can add you as a writing buddy!

 

We can do this! 

 

Check out my video! I got the days wrong, but it is okay. If you haven’t please subscribe to my channel!

To those who are participating, let’s work together. Let’s motivate each other!

Is Your Writing Good Enough? #ISWG

Happy Wednesday! I hope that all is well this evening. As I was reading other blogs, I came across one today on Romance University’s Blog and the author that was being spotlighted talked about her writing. There was one sentence  that made me think, ” when your name and reputation are at stake, don’t have your writing be good enough, make it be the best.” When I read that sentence, I was baffled! I instantly started to look at myself with my writing and projects that i have done. I asked myself, ” Is my writing not at it’s best?” Sure, I hire and editor and proof reader, but should I be doing more to put my best quality of work?

Putting In The Time 

When writing anything there must be time involved to see the project through. You can do research, read other books in that genre that you want to write in, etc. Being devoted to the project will make you put out your best work. I try to be devoted and patient with my projects and try not to do a rush job. I am going to be best, I used to try and do all kinds of short cuts just to hurry up and get it done. This is terrible. Please do not do that. Honestly, I found out the hard way too. It hurt me in sales and in reviews. I will say that I am a stronger writer now then I was 8 years ago.

Revise, Revise, Revise 

I know this is the most tedious and annoying part. Especially when you feel that you are done. I used to just do one draft of editing and then hit publish. SMH…boy, do I see the error of my ways now! I have to continue to revise on a constant basis no matter if I want to pull my eyes out or not. I have decided that from now on, my works will go through three rounds of editing. The first round is to check for grammar and/or spelling ( I SUCK AT GRAMMAR). I mean I have an MFA in Creative Writing, you would think I had this shit down by now, lol. But, I don’t. The second round of editing will be line editing and the final round of editing will be developmental editing–making sure it flows. Then I will still read the book AGAIN in it’s entirety. I am always told that if you want to be successful, you have to work hard.

Stay The Course 

I know that being a writer is not an easy job. Everyone can not do it. I don’t care what people say to you. This is no easy task. We have to take so much time out of our day to develop stories in our head and on paper to transform into a wonderful story. In my opinion, the writing is the easy part, if you are an indie, then you know how hard it is to market your book, etc. For those that are traditionally published with money behind your book, you have no idea the struggle of marketing. But, you do know hard work. I know it’s hard to be successful and truly make it as a writer. Trust me, I’m working a full-time job, going to school full-time AND still trying to advance at my writing career by doing my own writing and being paid to write for others. Most nights I’m exhausted and I want to cry and give up. But, something inside of me tells me to keep going, stay the course. To my readers  of this blog that are writers on this blog, stay the course. I know it may seem that our big break may never come, but keep trying. There will be that one person to give you that yes you have been waiting for. Make your work, your best work. Stay the course! Riddle me this, do you think your writing is good enough to be the best? Answer below in the comments.

As a writer, do you sometimes get in your own way?

Happy Monday, readers! 

Writers love to write and do their thing with words, but I was thinking that sometimes we may get distracted by being in our own way. Okay, here me out. We can be so busy distracted with other things in our lives, that we loose motivation to write. I know it has happened and still does happen to me all of the time. I get distracted easily with Social Media or fiddle around with other things online when I should be writing. Not reading about writing, talking about writing, writing about writing (like now), but just writing. I was fiddling on twitter today when I came across Jane Espenson. She wrote Dinosaurs and write Once Upon A Time as well many other great shows that are on TV like The Husbands. I took the liberty to ask her about her writing process. She stated, ” I don’t really have a process but I do daily sprints for an hour.” I asked her if she did them on twitter and she had said that she was about to do one in 5 minutes. I asked her if I could join and she said yes! I did the sprint and wrote over 2k words on my novel. I don’t know if I was excited because I was writing with her or because I was determined to write today.

Get out of your own way…

Do not let life, fear, fearing of success stop you from doing what you want to do. Speak positive things in your life and it will happen. If you want to be a writer, then write! No one is telling you that you can not be successful with writing. It will take a lot of hard work, but at the end of the day it will be worth it. I am determined to finish this novel that has taken me so long to write (over a year) because I was in my own way. When I say my own way, I mean that I let life stop me from writing. Trying to find a job, wondering why my friends are as close to me anymore. Excuse my language, but fuck that! I am not worrying about anything or anyone it will get me in the way of my true goal which is to be a successful writer and work in the Human Services field. I LOVE to help people. I think it’s my passion and I am on this earth to do just that. Even if I am helping someone with their writing, I am doing my job. My grandmother alway said, ” If you want something different, you have to do something different.”

Keep Writing…

I know it is hard being a writer sometimes. We are not making the money we feel we deserve to make and our jobs are most likely things that have nothing to do with what we are passionate about. But, I watched a video tonight on youtube and Will Smith said, ” I decided that acting was what I was going to do and be good at it. No matter how many people told me not to do it, I still did, because it is what I wanted to do.” He talked about his favorite book, ” The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and he talked about how the man had a dream and we went through hell and high water on his journey dealing with obstacles, set-backs, and people telling him that his dream was not valid. He kept trying and he fulfilled his dream and more. No matter what anyone says if you want to be a writer, keep writing! Don’t let fear, non-writers, family or friends stop you from achieving your dream. I want to be a columnist, published in the NY Times, write books, screenplays and more. Just a successful writer all around and TRUST ME, it will happen! Hard work eventually pays off. Stay away from negative people and do not be a negative person, either. They say, ” you are what you attract.” Keep writing and speaking everything positive into existence. I know I am!