How Can I Carry The Weight Of The World With Just Two Hands?

If you look closely the picture resembles someone who  make look exhausted. Well, this is how I have been feeling for a while with my life. As the new happens, reflection is still on my mind. When I think about last year and my past, I noticed it resolved around the needs of everyone else expect myself. Well, not this time, not for me. The world is filled with so many other problems, I have decided not to carry everyone else’s problems.

You maybe wondering, what am I talking about? Okay, here we go. 2017 is about me or just about you. If you make other people’s problems your own. Let me break down a few examples of what I am talking about. I will relay them to my life and things that have kept me stagnant by choice.

• Gossip: This is so easy to get involved in without even trying. As women or at least some women always want to know how others are doing. For example, if you have been out of high school and you hear the head cheerleader is now flipping burgers. Gossip is when someone is telling you someone else’s business just because. They are not out to help the person who is doing less than or struggling.
• Money: This is a huge one for me. If you don’t have the means to help others, stop doing it when you don’t have. I am totally guilty of this. But, it’s a new year so I am done with that. People always try to take advantage of your kind heart. Well, if you are like I was, NO is your favorite word. I would help my parents and friends who were in financial trouble and when I did that, it left me in the hole. When it was time for me to need the help, the one was around.  Never again. Be smart, be wise. Give when you are able to. Make sure you are taken care of first. Now, you may loose friends and family over this, but that is okay. Don’t make it so easy for people to be able to come to you.
• Favors: Favors can be asked of you from anyone by doing anything. This can be money, doing a job, performing a task, etc. This is another one that I have stopped doing. Why? Well, I am trying to continue to establish my writing career and I’m in school for my PhD. In a way, I don’t have time to do favors for people. It takes time on what I really need to be focused on. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s something minor or you choose to assist, go for it. I will give you an example, I have an uncle who lost his job and wanted help with a resume, etc. I wasn’t as busy that day so I gave him a price for me to re-do his resume, etc. You must be thinking, why would you charge your uncle? Easy, I am not working right now and writing is my livelihood until something better and bigger comes. So, I charged him $60. Now, what pissed me off was that he had the full amount that I was asking for when I saw him because he pulled the money out. Do you know he only gave me $20 and said he’d give me the rest next week? At this time my blood is boiling and I’m ready to cuss him out something serious, lol. But, I kept my cool and said okay. I finished the work and EVEN applied for jobs for him since he had no computer. He got e-mails and callback galore for jobs i applied for him on his behalf. That was about 6 months ago. I never got the rest of my money and when I called he ignored me and didn’t answer my calls. Til this day I have no wrap for him. My point is doing for people who will take advantage of you is the ultimate no no in my book. It can be family or friends. I don’t care. Once you do me dirty, I have no wrap for you.

No matter if your heart is huge or you are cold due to being burned many times, you can’t carry the world. Sure, you have the best intentions to help others, but sometimes you just can’t. Focus on yourself and when you can do, by all means go for it. But, when it comes to your sanity and at times your pockets, you must learn to say no. This goes for emotional and mental stability as well. I have sometimes would hear my friends or people I know talk about the drama in their life that when we were done talking it drained me. I was so busy focused on their issues that my life was having a back seat. Don’t let this be you. Be the best you that you can be. After all you come first. Put yourself there.